Online forum 

These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice.

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

You should also have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online communityLogin to post

Topic: Young adults please help...

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. hairclip
    hairclip avatar
    5 posts
    10 November 2018

    I've been having a hard time looking for a new job. The current one has left me mental manager was abusive. They would "playfully" hit me, curse at me, yell at me when I've done something wrong (but never provided the training).

    I just thought I was bad and I toughened it out for a few months. Now I hate people because of them. I find it so hard to talk to people and so ashamed. Not only is it a low-end disrespectful wasn't what I wanted for myself. I can't help but to stay numb, I am so numb now it's difficult to break out. I would have random breakdowns and often bad. If I try to take a scheduled day off I would be told I'm ungrateful of this job and I am not allowed.

    I desperately want to quit but I can't find another job even though I've been looking for a year now, are there any tips on getting hired??

    I'm so numb to a point I don't even cry anymore when I do have emotions they are hard to control and often toxic. Everyone has been telling me to quit but I know for sure I won't get a job if I quit. Please help, I've tried everything...I just feel like a failure.

    I just want to disappear.

  2. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    65 posts
    11 November 2018 in reply to hairclip

    Hi hairclip

    I feel for you so much and wish I could just jump through my laptop and give you the biggest most reassuring hug.

    First, if one of your main objectives at this point relates to having some form of income, I would suggest you research Centrelink. You can contact your Centrelink State Unemployment Office to see if you are eligible for unemployment benefits, if you quit your job. Typically they will not offer financial support but some states do under exceptional circumstances, such as harassment, discrimination and unsafe work conditions. They will offer financial support between jobs. If you are in a state which will offer this, I strongly suggest you resign from your job asap under the guidance of Centrelink. Remember, if your short term goal is to generate income, Centrelink may serve you in getting out of this current toxic environment. You may not need to continue toughing it out at your current place of employment, before finding a new job.

    Second, you are definitely not a failure. You have simply failed to thrive in an extremely toxic and abusive environment. When you consider it, most people would fail to do this. We humans are not designed to thrive through constant stress and abuse. Not even machinery is designed to function effectively through constant stress and abuse. Whether it's humans or machinery, both will be worn down over time. You sound somewhat 'worn down' so now it's time for some important maintenance...

    Perhaps consider visiting your local trusted GP to discuss your mental health. It sounds like you need to consider some support in this area and understandably so. Mental health is just as important as physical health. The 2 tend to interact to various degrees: Eg. If left unchecked, stress can have an impact on certain aspects of our physical self, such as our nervous system.

    hairclip, if you visualise the Centrelink idea and the GP visit as a bridge, they can been seen as things which enable you to cross from one thing to another; a dark place to a much brighter place/future. They are simply resources to be accessed during this incredible challenge of your. These are possible steps that define you as nothing other than resourceful, if you decide to take advantage of them. Take some leave (which you may legally be entitled to under National Employment Standards) and do some research in regard to crossing over into a brighter future.

    Take care of yourself hairclip

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Jetosaur
    Jetosaur avatar
    4 posts
    12 November 2018 in reply to hairclip

    Hi hairclip,

    I've just logged in on my lunch break and id like you to know that you're not alone. I know how it feels to be trapped in a job where you feel unappreciated and are made to feel stupid and just plain useless. I want you to know that you are intelligent and beautiful and you have so much value. These toxic people are only that and their hurtful words and actions do not reflect who you are (and who you are is amazing.)

    Stay strong and be persistent in your search for another path. Sometimes a leap of faith is all it takes. I believe you will be okay and you will find what you're looking for, some things just take time. You have the power to control your life and where your journey takes you so I send many many hugs and I pray you find the strength and clarity to realise your true potential.

    warm hugs, lots of smiles and if all you can do today is simply have a day then you do that. Take the time to have a shower and eat and get to bed early and look after you because you are wonderful and deserving of happiness.

    - your friendly neighbourhood dinosaur

    1 person found this helpful
  4. hairclip
    hairclip avatar
    5 posts
    13 November 2018 in reply to therising

    Hi Therising, thank you so much for this post. My family immigrated here in 2008 so I am very new to this stuff. I didn't even know centrelink existed until 2015 when I went to uni. I will have a chat with them to see if I qualify. I am just so scared I won't get another job once I quit this one. I've been sending out at least 5 resumes a day and during my lunch breaks to no avail. I am thinking of going back to uni at this point. Thank you for your help :)

    I will take note of it so I can get out of this place.

    Hugs <3

  5. hairclip
    hairclip avatar
    5 posts
    14 November 2018 in reply to Jetosaur
    Thank you Jetosaur, I do exercise 30mins a day just to keep my health in check. I just hope things get better soon. It gets harder every day to work. I will do my best, thank you for your kind words, I'll remember them when things get tough.
  6. Jetosaur
    Jetosaur avatar
    4 posts
    3 December 2018 in reply to hairclip

    Hey hairclip,

    It's been a while since I logged in. Just checking in to see how things are going for you?