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Topic: Trying to help my partner, when I think I need to see someone myself

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Hayls
    Hayls  avatar
    1 posts
    29 January 2019

    So my partner was diagnosed with Aniexty disorder, panic attack, PTSD. And he also has underlying problems. We are in a fairly new relationship 6 months together. He’s 22, and I’m almost 20. He helped me get out of an abusive relationship and we both adore each other! But he’s been having trouble at work and all these problems that he’s has has really been affecting his mental health! Like the past month he has been leaving work because he will either going super pale like he’s going to pass out, or just generally feeling very very sick. I try to comfort him because that’s my personality I just want to be there and help, but he almost pushed me away because he doesn’t want anyone near him(which is totally understandable, I mean I try to give him space) but I think because of my past relationships and experiences all I want to do is be super close ( some would say clingy ) and cuddle and be super affectionate which I don’t think he minded at first, but now that he’s going through this rough patch he hates it and avoids the connection with me. Which leaves me thinking all kinds of things in my head and feeling sad. But he does reassure me that he loves me and shows me attentions when he’s okay. But I feel so selfish that I feel this way. And it’s got me thinking that maybe I should speak to someone about how I feeling

  2. MsPurple
    Community Champion
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    MsPurple avatar
    174 posts
    29 January 2019 in reply to Hayls

    Hi Hayls and welcome to the forums

    It is good you care about your partner and try to help his anxieties. It is ok to have needs and desires. I had the same issue in the past. I decided to talk to them about it. It is ok to discuss how you sometimes want affection even if he is going through a rough patch. You can let him know thats how you are used to comforting him. Maybe he can explain how he feels and together you can compromise. Maybe hold hands instead of hug.

    Have you or your partner ever talked to a counsellor or psychologist. I myself have anxiety. I find talking to someone helps me with my anxiety. Sometimes my anxiety overtakes me and I just want to lie in bed and make a blanket coacoon. It can be horrible feeling that way and you just want to be alone, because you worry you'll bring others down or you are scared people won't like what they see. It can be scary. Since I have talked about these things with a therapist I find it easier to open up to people and not feeling like a burden.

    I hope this was helpful. I know it can be hard. But hang in there and be open with each other because it will help with better understanding

    1 person found this helpful