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Topic: painful nostalgia feeling?

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. benevolentbutterfly
    benevolentbutterfly avatar
    1 posts
    12 May 2019

    i feel as if whenever i get nostalgic about something, i end up feeling quite anxious and upset? one example of this is last year i got invited (out of courtesy) to a former best friend's birthday party. the two of us were best friends for a few years but drifted due to now going to separate schools and not seeing each other all the time. her friends from her school made her a video from all of them wishing her a happy birthday and she seemed to be having a really good time but the only time we spoke to each other was when i got there and we said hello to each other. i then proceeded to beg my dad for us to leave earlier (the party finished at 11; it was only about 9-9:30) and then cried almost all the way home in the back of an uber. it physically hurt that we had drifted so much that we did not talk to each other at all, when at one point in our lives we were so close that we did almost everything together

    flash forward to today; we were at my grandparents for mother's day and across the road from my grandparents lived family friends we have known literally since i was born. out of their family of four, three of them were now living in qld and the dad had sold the house and was moving out today to go live with the rest of the family. he invited us in one last time and immediately i was hit again with that overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and was fighting back tears the entire time i was inside

    i feel like every friend that i drift apart from, they manage to move on just fine, but for me, everytime i have a conversation with them or go through old text messages i feel like i'm dying inside. does anyone else feel this or is it just me? i don't have any explanation for what i am feeling and i thought maybe someone else might have an answer

  2. PamelaR
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    PamelaR avatar
    64 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to benevolentbutterfly

    Hi Benevolentbutterfly and welcome to our community

    Thank you for sharing your story. It isn't easy is it? Nostalgia is interesting and there is much written about it. What you are experiencing is normal. There are many of us who have the same experiences.

    The reason why we experience it may differ though. It could be from good memories or bad memories from the past, or it could be from the present and what's happening now and therefore we miss (feel nostalgic) for the past.

    For me it's okay to feel nostaglic about things. It means I have had some very good connections in my life - some real positives. Nostalgia becomes a problem for me when it turns to anxiety and depression. These are things I work on - like visit my doctor and get a referral to a health professional.

    Do you see anyone about how you feel? For example your gp or health professional?

    Talking helps a lot too. Is there a close trusted friend or family member you can talk to?

    You're not alone benevolentbutterfly. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

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