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Topic: new school, constant anxiety - how to introduce yourself to people??

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. tk202
    tk202 avatar
    4 posts
    12 February 2019

    I've recently come into a new school, yr 11, and my social anxiety is making me feel alone and hopeless. I feel so awkward I can't even manage to introduce myself to new people. I've always been a bit of an anxious person but now it's constant, it's there in the front of my mind all the time and I can't seem to distract myself from it. it's really getting to me and I cry a lot when I'm by myself at home, I just have this horrible feeling like I'm going to just be hanging around without any real friends for the next 2 years of school.

    does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so hopeless, and also any tips for getting over the anxiety of introducing yourself to a new person? because I know that once I know their name etc. I relax a lot, and when I don't take the opportunity to introduce myself I regret it later, but for some reason I still can't bring myself to just tell them my name and ask what theirs is. for some reason this whole introduction thing just seems like a huge obstacle that is really keeping me from getting over this anxiety.

    this is my first time posting here and I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but thanks if you do.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. MischaB
    MischaB avatar
    1 posts
    12 February 2019 in reply to tk202

    Sorry to hear about your anxiety and unhappiness.

    It can be very difficult starting at a new school.

    I wonder if conversation starters could be - could I sit here? Do you mind if I join you for lunch? Do you know where a certain class is?

    I understand though that it can be very difficult to initiate conversation.

    It may be worth talking to the school psychologist or chaplain for some support.

    I hope it improves for you soon.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    391 posts
    13 February 2019 in reply to tk202

    Hi tk202,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here. I'm sorry that you're struggling with anxiety, this is definitely something I can relate to as well. A big credit to you for being here though, and hopefully we can help you get through that first hurdle.

    Can I ask what is it you're afraid of when you ask someone their name? Is it how they'll respond, or the idea you might get too panicky? Sometimes knowing what's holding you back can help, so that you can know that you can face whatever the worst case scenario will be.

    I don't know why and you can't dismiss it if you like but I just remembered that quote from The Zoo (it's a movie) - he says "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." Perhaps you could cut that down to ten - perhaps you could work on smiles as you walk by, or general 'hi's' in the hall, or perhaps it could be the 'my name is x, what's yours?'.

    You know either way something great will come out of it, and it sounds like knowing their name really is the hardest part, so I know you can do it.

    Hope this helps,

  4. tk202
    tk202 avatar
    4 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to tk202
    hi, sorry for the super late reply but thank you for your advice! I'm feeling better at school now and less lonely but can always use some more help, so thank you again.
  5. tk202
    tk202 avatar
    4 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to MischaB
    hi Mischa, thank you so much for your help and sorry for the late response. I'm doing better now and I'll keep your advice in mind!