I messed up.
I was in two relationships until October or November. One was real, one was fake. The fake was with a 21 years old, 5 years old than me. I told him about my actual REAL boyfriend, how we were in a relationship BEFORE HIM AND I a while ago, I’m not sure when but I have. He hates my boyfriend.
Just note that this fake relationship, this person doesn’t know it was fake. You might be asking, how was it fake? I never loved him, why would I? I built up a ‘relationship’ with him because he literally said it wouldn’t make him depressed if we weren’t together. I’m a nice person, I didn’t want him to be depressed. I put everyone else before myself. I didn’t look into the future, what would this do? It’s caused me depression and anxiety, PTSD and a lot of paranoia, I’m becoming anorexic too. Looks like I’ve been wrapped into this dark trap. I broke it off, like I said, now everyday I am scared, anxious and worried sick that he will hurt me because I made us break up. I’m so scared he will break me and my REAL boyfriend up. He’s very mean and vulgar now. Saying stuff like “I wonder what you’d feel like with your heart broken”, meaning that he wonders what would happen if my boyfriend and I broke up. I shouldn’t have even spoken to this man. I hate him. He’s scary. I regret even replying to his message. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to, nothing. I am clueless.
I’ve told my amazing REAL boyfriend about this fake relationship, he forgave me. I am so thankful for this angel. He just said as long as you didn’t send nudes. I told him of course not, as my stomach would sink.
I did, it’s child porn. I felt like I was forced to do so, he also sent videos of him. I am worried this MAN will use it against me, towards my boyfriend but I think he’s deleted them.. I hope.
”Why don’t you block him!?”. I’m scared he will attack me, hurt me.
He lives on the other side of the country. He knows my address.
I am so scared. I am so sorry I have made this stupid, pathetic mistake.
I need help, advice. Anything. Please help me..