Hi lostgirl and welcome to the forums
It sounds like you are struggling with communicating, feeling unloved and being sad a lot of the time. It sounds like you are wanting to be happy? Is this correct
I know many forum users can relate with what you have beautifully written. I still have days where this is the case for me. It can be hard to figure yourself out and to find happiness in yourself. For me I guess I am still on that continuous journey
With learning to communicate, this is something I struggled with also. I had these feelings. I would feel like I something bad was going to happen all the time, for no reason. I didn't know how to explain it. It wasn't until I saw a counsellor/psychologist that it was all explained to me. They helped me understand what was going on in my head, and helped me articulate the thoughts, doubts I was having. Maybe seeing someone like a counsellor would help you with this. I know headspace is a great service for youth (as you have posted in the youth section I am assuming this suggestion is appropriate). They have centres accross Australia as well as an online service. Maybe have a look and see if it will be good for you www.headspace.org.au or www.eheadspace.org.au
We all wish it was easy and just click our fingers and feelings of sadness, anxiety, loneliness etc would go away. But it is something we can all work on. We are a supportive community here so feel free to share or discuss more with us if you feel comfortable.