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Topic: Confused about life :(

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. PC_99
    PC_99 avatar
    1 posts
    7 April 2019

    Hi everyone,

    Kinda new here so no idea if I'm doing this right. Jumping right into it, I am lucky enough to have a pretty good life- I have loving parents, supportive friends and a pretty decent life in general. This is why I'm so confused about some dark stuff I've been feeling lately. Just random feelings of crisis and fear about my future. I've been having doubts about uni, which is what sparked this- basically, I love the subject I'm doing, but have been struggling to keep up with my course content as I am a visual learner, and my course doesn't really cater for that. I also LOVE to travel, but due to being kinda poor, have been saving up my earnings from work like crazy for a planned trip nearly five years away. This to me feels like I'm always working towards something that never gets any closer, making me question everything mundane about my daily life. Feels like I'm stuck in a time warp with the same routine over and over and over again. There are moments of sheer happiness too, but these often end with me remembering all the negatives of life once the moment's over.

    In a nutshell, I'm finding it really hard to find the purpose of my life - because it's always so hard to wait for the light at the end of the tunnel as it seems like I'm throwing away my youth just working towards that. Shouldn't I be enjoying life now instead of always working towards happiness in the future? Or is this just how life is supposed to be? Everyone around me thinks I have the perfect life, so no one ever stops to think that I might be struggling, and I have mastered the art of suppressing emotions, so I don't reach out often. Just really confused with all the noise in my brain and have no one to talk to, so hoping for some help on here.

    Thanks a million for any help.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    457 posts
    7 April 2019 in reply to PC_99

    Hi PC, welcome

    In terms of other people, they aren't mind readers. We often expect them to notice we aren't 100% well or energetic. There's a saying "we have to carry our own cross" meaning we are alone in life to a large extent so we should carry our own burden.

    It is fine to have a large goal like travelling but if it is too far into the future you will indeed feel you are not succeeding. Better to be more realistic and have a 6 month goal, 2 year, 5 year, 10 year goals. There are some activities that you can afford that will feel like you are enjoying life.

    google

    Beyondblue topic inexpensive recovery idea- camping

    If you enjoy that concept of getting back to nature on a budget then download Wikicamps and enjoy free camping anywhere, if you have transport.

    However, travel- having a 5 year plan to go spend all that hard earned money at a young age isn't ideal. I know everyone boasts about their trek through Africa and it is the done thing now, even my daughter is planning to go to Europe this year instead of putting their hard earned money into a house deposit, I'm sorry to disagree here, people now do the reverse....I think its more logical to travel in older age and find financial security when young in buying your own home. Lets agree to disagree.

    Google

    Beyondblue topic the balance of your life.

    Cheers

    TonyWK

  3. SJ17
    SJ17 avatar
    1 posts
    8 May 2019 in reply to PC_99
    Hi PC_99
    Trust me, you arent alone! Ive recently noted a pattern in my life...i am always striving for more. I feel as though i am on some sought of quest to find my purpose in life. I seem to be content for a short while and then i start wanting more. I feel in this modern world there is so much pressure not only from others but from ourselves.

    I travelled to europe last year. It was always a dream of mine! Before then i was also lost in my career then all sort of uncertanties crept in. The overthinking mind is not a fun one i know that well! I thought i would have clarity when i got back...but it slowly crept in again.

    Recently i have realised that i need to stop searching for things externally to make me happy. I need to learn about myself and do more self care. Find happiness within myself. Heres a few things i have found reslly useful on this journey.

    Meditation - honestly i really think this has helped me and should not be underestimated. So many of us i think take care of our physical bodies but what about the strength of our mind? Try free apps like 'calm' or the book 'the happiness plan.' I havent been doing it for long but i feel im improving a lot and am building on my self awareness. I feel it brings me back to the moment.

    Ive also gone off social media. Best thing i ever did. I constantly compare myself and get envious of others. I know this is a big step but i just realised that it was actually having no benefit to me.

    I know you feel like you need to have a purpose in life and youre uncertain about things but it will.get better and everything will work out the way its supposed to. Just breathe and take it day by day. Do something each day that brings you joy 🙂