My anxiety is destroying my relationship. We have been together for just over a year and it has been amazing but the last two months there has been a spike in my anxiety and I am literally ruining my relationship without being able to help it.
I just started studying which I think may be triggering a bit of it due to stress. The main trigger that causes me to tip over the edge is that my boyfriend has a best friend - who until about 3 months ago was really nasty to me and my boyfriend never said anything about it - but I am constantly feeling like the second option when it comes to spending time etc...
A couple of months ago I realised that my boyfriend never asks to see me any more so I stopped asking him to hang out and he didn’t ask to see me once. I am just constantly in fear that he prefers to see his friend more than me, which never used to be the case.
i just helped him buy an old car which he is doing up at the moment so he never wants to hang out with me because he is always too busy working on the car, he explained to me that he wants to get it done so then we can go on a holiday with it together. But I heard him say to his dad the other day that he can’t wait to get it done so him and his friend can go on a holiday together - to the same place he told me he would take me.
i was going away last Saturday and I hadn’t seen him in 3 days and he had spent every day that week with his friend. His friend was also going away on Sunday. He is a fisherman so he works every day and starts work early in the morning so we haven’t slept in the same bed together for 3 months. Last Saturday he had his first day off in 3 months, and we had plans to hang out on the Friday, when he told me he had the day off I got really excited because it meant that we would get to sleep in the same bed before I went away, but instead he told me that I would need to go home in half an hour because his friend was coming over for drinks before he went away.
there are many many other examples of what have made me feel anxious and insecure. Whenever I try and speak to him about it he just tells me that I am jealous of his friend. Our relationship never used to be like this, it’s only been since his friend has got out of a relationship. I don’t know whether I am over reacting or if it’s acrtually worth getting upset over, but my anxiety has caused me to get upset and say some things that I have regretted immediately after.
I just don’t know what to do