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Topic: Where do I even begin?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. EC101
    EC101 avatar
    1 posts
    30 October 2019

    I am a 12 year old girl, and have been diagnosed with anxiety, and I have ASD. My anxiety is mainly caused by certain sounds, and pressure. Hearing hiccups, sniffs, loud breathing or snoring makes me want to cry. My Dad understands, but my Mum doesn't seem to care. And there's another issue: My parents split up early last year, and I still haven't gotten over it. My Dad gets sad, because he never gets to see us, and he never wanted to split up. I just feel like my Mum ruins everything. My Mum has a boyfriend who lives with her, but I have him. He smokes and is just an awful person, and I feel angry towards him, maybe not because he did anything, just he could never be my Dad. I have a one week cycle with each parent, and when I'm at my Dad's he respects my privacy, and doesn't make me do anything I don't feel comfortable doing (mostly). But when I'm at Mums she's a nightmare. We have at least 3 fights a week, and doesn't understand that not everyone will always be perfect, like my older sister.

    Then, I have these two friends. They keep on having fights with each other and both make it hard for me to be myself, but I really don want to lose them, cause they're all I have. Except often, they use me, because I'm quite intelligent in some subjects ( I can't say that without feeling guilty) and make me help them with their work.

    I have a crush on this girl at my school, but my Mum is strongly against homosexuality. Again, my Dad understands and always supports me, but I don't know what to do. I feel I'm too young to come out, or decide this is my life now, and I need help.

    I feel this is too much for a young girl to handle, along with trying to act like nothing's wrong at the same time... I really need help, for any of these problems you can relate to. I just want a real friend for once.

    EC

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    902 posts
    30 October 2019 in reply to EC101

    Hello EC101, thank you for coming to the forums and realise that your situation isn't how it should be, so I'm sorry for you.

    Having your dad accept how you feel is certainly a great bonus and perhaps if I can suggest you contact via your dad 'Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800'.

    If you can type this in your search browser 'kids beyond blue' or your dad maybe able to help you as there are different ways on how to get help.

    Please take care.

    Geoff.

  3. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    73 posts
    30 October 2019 in reply to EC101

    Hello EC101

    I just want to start off by saying how very proud I am of you for reaching out here and telling your story and sharing your feelings, I hope that you have felt a little better in getting it off your chest. We are here for you anytime of the day or night to chat to and to listen and support you.

    I have a 13 year old daughter and your message really hit my heart as I would like someone to give her support if she reached out so I will do that for you....I guess I am imagining what I would say to my daughter.

    You have so very much on your plate and I can feel the strong connection you have with your dad, so seeing him sad and not being able to be with him as much as you would like to and perhaps need to is really upsetting. It is so very hard to see our parents struggling, especially seeing that they are usually the ones to take care of us, however you can check in with him and even send him messages that you love him and are thinking of him, I love to getting messages like that from my daughter.

    If you feel that you are having feeling for a girl at school, in 2019 it really is no different to having feelings for a boy. However in saying that I just want to say that there is not necessarily any need or pressure to "come out". If the feelings are mutual and you decide that you are going to see if there is something between you and the girl then you can try, if it works out, fantastic, if not that is cool too, don't feel like you have to put a label on yourself, just be you.

    With regards to your friends, no one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself and I feel like a gentle word to them perhaps might help here, just to call them on their behavior, even something like "hey guys, happy to help with school work and stuff but don't treat me like that or speak to me like that as it bothers me". Friends are tough to manage no matter if you are 12 or if you are 45 like me.....I think just being honest and letting them know how you feel is both important and needed, you are entitled to take care of you.

    You have so much on your plate for a 12 year old and I am so so proud of you for talking, if I could reach through the screen and give you a hug I would.

    Love to chat some more and see how you are going EC101.

    Hope you find something to smile at today as you are so worth it.

    AS