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Topic: Stuck in a job that makes you depressed

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Slothy99
    Slothy99 avatar
    1 posts
    8 January 2019

    Hi, I have always struggled with finding my direction in life and what I want to be and it has caused my parents a lot of grief and stress. So when my mums work offered me a full time traineeship, she was so excited and I said yes because at least I was doing something and it was making them happy, I thought it couldnt be too bad anyway. 4 months in and I am stuck in a contract that had 10 months left and I am struggling. This job is causing me so much anxiety and depression and I am not liking what im studying or doing. I cannot tell my parents this as they do not take mental illness with me serious and they will say I should be grateful. Besides this, it makes my mum in her workplace look bad if I quit. I like working with my mum but everyone else in the workplace is not good for my mental health and I feel used. I can't quit because of my parents but I want to go do childcare cause Ive always wanted to work with children but have always been too scared, hense I chose the easy path and worked with my mum. I am struggling through these last 10 months and do not know what to do as I feel a year of my life is being wasted and I could be setting myself up for a different life than this, my cert I will get in 10 months will be useful but is it worth this big mental battle and if so, how do I cope? Thank you

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Croix avatar
    235 posts
    9 January 2019 in reply to Slothy99

    Dear Slothy99~

    Welcome here to the Forum. I can see it is a pretty difficult problem, on the one hand it is a job, and it is somethng your parents wish for you, on the other it is a hard thing to do, feeling used and suspecting it is harming your mental health.

    There is one very encouraging thing you do say - that you are interested in working with children. To have an idea of what you want in life long term is something not everyone has, so an aim is good. If not now then at least later on.

    You mentioned you have anxiety and depression, may I ask if you have seen a doctor and are under treatment? The reason I ask is that I simply did not improve until I has proper medical support, it makes a huge difference. While your parents may not take you illness seriously it does not mean things have to stop there.

    Would you like to say what it is about this job that is bad?

    I guess many things are balancing acts in life. I'd never suggest anyone devote their whole career on a path they did not like just because their parents wanted it, however in the short term would remaining where you are have advantages? I know you mentioned a certificate, plus whenever applying for any position being able to say you have completed something is an advantage. What do you thing your parents will do if you just left, would that make them understand?

    Against that of course the effect this is having on you. A bad job can be very corrosive.

    Do you think it is at all possible to partition your life, so work does not intrude out of hours? Many people try to do this, having other more enjoyable activities to keep them occupied and take their minds off the unpleasant things in life

    Alternatively do you think it practical to seek out a position now in childcare? If you changed over perhaps your parents might see that in a positive light.

    I'd like it if you came back and talked more about this