Thanks for responding!
I would like to be a journalist one day. I like to write and travel so I essentially want a career which allows me to combine the two. My plan was to take a gap year after finishing high school before doing a media and communications degree at uni.
My anxiety is indeed related to how I see myself, my fears of other people's judgment, etc. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I put a lot of pressure on myself to not fail, which ironically is the thing that leads to my failure in the end. I'm trying my best to know that I cannot be perfect (no one can, after all) and that I will forgive myself for failing eventually.. but I just feel like staying behind another year at school or not finishing high school would be the ultimate failure to me. That's not to say that other people who have done so are failures, by the way. I'm not fully convinced that repeating a year will help me not only academically, but also mentally. I don't want to make a mistake in repeating a year.
I have struggled making many friends at my new school. when I said I wanted to graduate with my friends I was referring to my friends from my old school. Although we wouldn't technically graduate together, the idea of them moving onto a different chapter of their lives without me hurts.I guess a benefit of repeating a year would be the opportunity to make new friends at my school and have extra time to get to know them. But on the other hand, I'm worried about being a year older than my peers. My bday is in October so perhaps I wouldn't be too much older, maybe a few months at the most, but I don't know. It's a bit weird to think of graduating when I'm almost 19.
Another benefit would be being able to do subjects I haven't done but maybe would've liked to. Also being able to repeat a unit 1/2 subject and also being able to do unit 3/4 subjects over the course of two years (rather than doing all my year 12 subjects next year if i were to graduate then) could be good. When I consider that, repeating seems like a less stressful option.
My parents are pretty understanding and supportive so I will be sure to discuss what i just wrote with them. I find coming here first is helpful in gathering my thoughts and feelings so then I can express them out loud in a more coherent way.
Thanks again for replying, it has helped me to gain some perspective on my situation.