Welcome to the forum and to getting some support and comfort through this time, as Sophie M said, it is not easy to write your first post and I am so glad you have reached out tonight.
I am sorry that the relationship was not a healthy relationship however, that does not discount that at some point you felt they were a person you would like to have in your life, that you did have a connection and that you had feelings for one another. Through this journey you discovered that it was not a healthy relationship so it has now ended, this does not mean that you should not feel pain and sadness. You had feelings for this person. There is still healing to do and I am sorry that also that COVID does mean that you are probably not in touch with your friends like you need them at the moment and it does make it so much harder when you have not got some distractions to help you through the day and help you to ease the pain.
This might seem like a silly suggestion but I have found writing to be so wonderful, a place to just get it all out and to write as raw and as honest as I like, it is for no one else to read. It might help with getting it out and helping you address that you did have feelings for this person, you understand that it did need to end but that does not mean pain free. Let your self grieve the relationship.
I hope that you do have some things to do in the day that can create some distraction for you, reading, music, even facetiming your friends, something to bring a smile to you.
It is a pretty great place here gb2399 and you can share as much or as little about you as you like, we are here to support you.
Hope to chat some more to you