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Topic: Stress, anxiety and depression breaking up my relationship

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Fee29
    Fee29 avatar
    1 posts
    14 April 2019

    Hi,

    About a year ago my boyfriend and I decided to move in together. I was in a great place in my life and was happier than I had ever been. However, since moving in together I have been considerably unwell with various health problems.

    Over the past three or so months the health issues have been increasingly worse. I suffer with the constant worry and anxiety that I will be unwell at work, at a social event or even just at home and that it will start ruining my life. I am almost always in a constant state of pain and when I’m not I’m worrying that I going to be. On top of this, I have a very stressful job which requires me to be there a lot, have a lot of responsibilities and I don’t get the needed rest I require. My family lives in the uk so I also struggle with support and missing them.

    I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and mild depression. My partner is not very sympathetic or empathetic and finds it hard to understand it all. I often get overly sensitive and upset over little things. My partner always threatens to break up with me and calls me crazy when I have an anxiety attack. He often sits there and tells me I’m losing the plot when I’m crying until I snap at him and he gets the chance to leave the conversation. I understand my anxiety, stress and depression affects him directly as he is living with me and I have just started reaching out for support and help. When we get into arguments, the increased stress often leads to my asthma getting worse, he acts like that I’m making my asthma get worse on purpose to get out of the argument and gets angry at me for having an asthma attack.

    He doesn’t see any of this as the effects of my declining mental health and rather than supporting me, is trying to tell me that we should just give up. I feel like he only wants me when I’m happy and anxiety free.

    I don’t understand how someone can be so intent on ending the relationship when only a day prior he was asking my dad for advice on where to take me for a surprise holiday.

  2. Soberlicious96
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    4 posts
    14 April 2019 in reply to Fee29

    Hi Fee,

    I want to start by saying I get what you're feeling; depression, anxiety and asthma. I too have, or have had all of those conditions. I still have asthma, and it is very slowly decreasing as I get better, as is the depression and anxiety. I also want to state that I am by no means a professional counselor or anything like that, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and feel free to disagree or disregard at any time. I am simply talking from my own experiences.

    But one thing I have found is that there a whole load of people out there who just don't get it. They don't understand at all, and I tend to think that it's mainly because they either haven't experienced it for themselves, or they have just managed to respond to things differently. Men and women are also, to some degree, quite different creatures in the way that we think, feel and 'act-out' with our struggles, therefore we (women) tend to 'expect' a man to respond to our needs in the say that another woman would, and we get confused and hurt when that doesn't happen.

    Perhaps you could suggest to your partner to do some reading/research on how to support someone with mental health conditions, such as the information provided here on Beyond Blue. I have pasted a link below:

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

    In the meantime, BB is here for you and with you 24/7 so please feel free to keep coming back here and sharing with us about what is going on for you.

    Hope all that helps at least a little. Take care. xo