I don’t know about anyone else, but one of the main reasons I am depressed/anxious, is because of the way our society is/acts today.

I have a history of sexual abuse from when I was very young, and have been cheated on by several previous partners, which doesn’t help with the paranoid thoughts that come into my head on a daily basis.

My biggest concern is the women of our generation. It seems as though everyone’s trying to look like a Kardashian these days, and it’s just pathetic and sad.

It makes it hard for me to have a healthy relationship..

It also makes me sick , the amount of sexualised content there is on the internet, and how easily accessible it is. How can anyone feel safe in a relationship these days? The excuse is always, “If I wanted to be with someone like that, I would.” But how is looking another female up , not wanting that?...

I just feel so hopeless all of the time, because I don’t feel safe in my relationship, in the sense that my partner is going to leave me for another girl, since it’s so tempting for guys to cheat these days, due to the content online and the way girls act and look nowadays.

Can anyway relate??

Good Morning Bee1998

I am so pleased that you have come to express how you are feeling on such a frustrating topic. I am so sorry to read that you have had to experience sexual abuse and it breaks my heart.

I am almost 45 and I am struggling with ALL of these things too, the pressure of appearance, the fillers the botox, the wanting to change one's looks to fit in with what everyone else it doing, as you said "trying to look like a Kardashian". So as a young person with society behaving like this I am not sure how you are expected to value and love yourself when the world is full of people making such drastic and sometimes horrific changes.

I could not agree with you more in your feeling of hopelessness and lack of trust in relationships as I struggle with this very thing, with access to online dating, internet availability to view porn and make sex and sexual interactions so much more accessible and this is really terrifying in my opinion. I see too what you are saying about "“If I wanted to be with someone like that, I would.” But how is looking another female up , not wanting that?... however there does come a time when we do actually have to find some trust, as if we allow these thoughts and feelings to take over we will infact be sabotaging any hope of a safe and trustworthy relationship before it has even had a chance. You have been cheated on in relationships and that is just down right lousy and there is no excuse for it really, I am of the premise if you are not happy then leave, that is fine as we are all human and sometimes relationships don't work,but have the decency to leave first.

I have found having this very raw and upfront conversation at the start and laying all my cards on the table and communicating to the other person that I do feel this way and that I do have issues with trust and that I hope they can understand that their trust must be earnt, and they can do this by their behaviour. If they see me as weird or that by me saying these things freaks them out then guess what..see you later and you were not for me. It is tricky to find the balance between getting to know someone and gaining trust and also being vulnerable too and open to meeting and having relationships with people, and for young people who are trying to find their way in the world even more so.

From one woman to another ..you keep having your standards, you keep being you, you are beautiful Bee1998.

AS

Hi Aaronsis,

I just want to start by saying thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read through what I wrote, and for your lovely response!

I am happy to hear that you can relate to what i’m going through, as I felt as though I’m the only person feeling like this. I’m sorry at the same time though, that you are dealing with relationship issues as well. It’s very hard to trust someone once they have broken it and lied so many times.

I really liked what you said about how “If they see me as weird or that by me saying these things freaks them out then guess what..see you later.” It’s great that you have that trait to you. It shows you have a strong character about you.

Anyway, I won’t ramble on for hours, so I just want to say thank you again. It really meant a lot what you said.

-B

Good Morning B

I am so glad that you found some comfort in my words and please, do not ever feel like you are "rambling" or that my day is ever too busy to stop past and chat, you come here and "ramble" as much as your heart desires, we are here to listen and to support you..everyday of the week!

I think you will find that there are so many other women that feel as we do too and that what you are saying is so relatable to many of us. Thank you for your kind words to me, relationships are so very hard and we do such a good job of trying to protect ourselves because of what has happened to us in the past that we in fact end up ruining something that could have been wonderful, it is a vicious circle really. I have faith that one day "my person" will come along...as will yours...and all of what we say, do and accept from them will be perfect for us...I have to have faith that good, honest and faithful people are out there...and that goes for women too, as men go through this very struggle as well.

I hope you have a wonderful day and something amazing makes you smile.

Stop past and chat anytime..here for you B!

Hugs

AS