It's been a few days since Sophie_M spoke with you and I was wondering how you are going. From the sound if it you were having a pretty hard time on two fronts.
Your friends may well not know how to take it that you are leaving them and fall back on teasing and so on as a result. This may particularly apply to those closest to you at school who I am sure would feel they are going to miss you. That can lead to them asking you to stay -though they know you don't have that much control over that now, or being hurt and acting cold as a result.
I guess all you can do is continue to treat them normally and say you will miss them, which I'd be certain is true.
The other problem is not so simple. True isolation and school-work at home may have brought things to a head, however I have the feeling htere may be more to it than that.
You mentioned that you had made a big mistake at the start of last year and it has been preying on your mind ever since, with yelling at yourself about being useless and ruining everything, and crying and crying.
You were feeling that way 8 months ago when you spoke to Sarah (Aaronsis) here and by the sound of it are no better.
At the same time you were having difficulties keepng up with your schoolwork and falling down on other people's high expectations as well as being told you are disappointing.
Not a good life at all. The trouble is partly you don't realise this is not the way to be, as you have nothing to compare it to.
I would suggest that now is the time to seek help. That lack of motivation, and not liking yourself are two big indicators you need to talk with peple that are used to these sorts of feelings and can help you deal with them. It's not really abut homework, it's about how miserable and un-motivated you feel.
If there someone you can go to and explain how things have been for you for so long, perhaps a councilor or a teacher you like? Once things are understood by professionals then matters can be improved -a lot.
Talking/chatting on the Kids Help Line is the way a lot of kids go. They will be able to give you good advice as they will have met this situation many times before
A lot of how you feel I have felt too and I improved only after I'd got medical help, and I suspect that you may need it to
It can make such a change with motivation and enjoyment and feeling good about yourself as time goes on.
Do you think there is someone you would be willing to talk to?