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Topic: Repressing Emotions

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Everything is Hidden
    Everything is Hidden avatar
    1 posts
    29 August 2019
    When I was younger, I was physically bullied a lot. I had the mindset that no one would believe me if I told them that a 12 year old was physically attacking a 6 year old, so I pretended everything was fine and forced out a lot of emotions, pretending to be happy. I told people that I had no idea where my bruises, scars and cuts came from, and they just shrugged and said, "ok then". Until one day when I was 9. I was in music, we were sitting in a circle so everyone could see everyone else, and this guy. He physically assaulted me. But what hurt most, was when I decided to tell mum what actually happened. She just chuckled, pegged it on my imagination and showed my (mind you, impressive) bump to her friend. So I started repressing everything. I lost my temper a lot, and didn't like interacting with people, apart from toxic friendships that I forced myself into thinking I would be safer like that. It also didn't help the whole repression thing when mum said I couldn't listen to Lady Gaga music just because she was part of the LGBT community. I'm lesbian, so it made me more scared to share things. Now, I'm pretty messed up. I still get blamed for my temper, and when I told mum the full truth about my bullying problems she yelled at me for "not trying to tell her sooner". I have several anxiety and depressive disorders now, as well as psychotic depression and almost PTSD. I don't think I can officially call it that though. I sometimes act like a psychopath, and all because no one ever believed me. So uhh yeah.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. I don't even know
    I don't even know avatar
    13 posts
    31 August 2019 in reply to Everything is Hidden

    Hi there,

    I'm sorry, it sounds like you've gone through a really tough time. Have you sought any professional help? Talking to someone who understands and can help you cope with everything. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) are really good and experienced in helping young people.

    Just remember, you matter, you are important, you are worthy of so much love.

    Hope things get better :)

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Cerise547
    Cerise547 avatar
    12 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to Everything is Hidden

    Hello,

    Welcome to the forums :)

    It sounds like you've been through a lot of rough times, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Especially having a rocky relationship with your mum would be so tough. You're incredibly strong for going through all that and coming out the other side.

    Like i don't even know said, have you tried seeking professional help? Maybe there's a wellbeing centre/counsellor at your school you could talk to?

    I wish you all the best, and like idek said (again haha) you matter, are important, and deserve so much love <3

    Cerise

    1 person found this helpful