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Topic: Relationship problems :(

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Hello_there
    Hello_there avatar
    4 posts
    24 June 2019
    I'm in highschool at the moment and I'm in a relationship, we've been together for a bit over 1.5 years. One thing I've noticed a difference between us is friendships. I struggle to have friends, it's a bit of a story which I've talked to with a counseller but basically, I don't feel comfortable in friendships and I don have any close friends. For the msot part of it that's fine. But my boyfriend, however, has friendships with other girls. He seems pretty involved into heir lives and he talks to them a lot. It bothers me...
    I know it's unfair of me to think those things and we have talked about it. I can't tell if they're jsut a normal friendship between a girl and a guy because I don't have experience myself. They talk a lot of days and they seem to get a long and can have kind of personal talks, it has also bothered me he's asked one for relationship advise (despite her not actually knowing me or having a good relationship herself!!)
    Anyways, if anyone could give me some coping strategies that would be great :/ I can't find myself to be fine with it
    Thank you
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    464 posts
    24 June 2019 in reply to Hello_there

    Hi , welcome

    Opposites attract. That's why you found each other and likely why he isnt going with one of his friends.

    There is a fine line between being possessive, being protective and having unfair expectations. Being in love elevates these feelings with some people.

    In your situation I'd slowly seek out his deep feelings for you then evaluate if he has commitment within, trust and you are satisfied with that. Then let him know that you feel a little jealous of other girls and need regular reassurance. There is nothing wrong with being very honest however be aware that his personality dictates his enjoyment of social contact so while it's ok the be protective of your bond you must allow him to be totally himself. That means not putting any pressure on him making him feel guilty.

    Ensure your relationship is very special by getting to know him very well is essential as is a very close friendship.

    Good luck

    TonyWK

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