I've been seeing this guy off and on for 3 years now and what a rollercoaster ride it has been, it feels like one day is good and one MONTH is bad. I have been reading some articles lately and i'm beginning to think it is emotional abuse, he has cheated on me (he has never admitted it to me but a lot of people have told me and I've had multiple girls message me and one even telling me she was married to him and pregnant with his child), he has told me i'm not enough for him and that i'm not what he wants, that i'm not attractive and that i need to lose weight, he doesn't enjoy sex with me and has to take viagra, that i am a liar and a cheat. I feel like i have done nothing but love this man and at the moment i haven't seen him for almost 3 months as it is my punishment for lying to him about going to the gym and for his friend messaging me and me replying. He has banned me from having social media but he has it, i'm not allowed to go out, he doesn't like any of my friends.Everyone doesn't understand why i stay with him but none of them have experienced that 1 good day thats what keeps me going he is like the person i first met he tells me he loves me and that he wants to have a family with me and sometimes even take me to look at engagement rings but lately i haven't had that 1 good day.
He broke up with me on my 21st birthday because i wanted to skype with him as he said he was working away and couldn't see me on the day but i forgave him after he told me that it was my fault, that if i had just listened to him and lost my weight like he told me too everything would be different and we would be together and happy. I want more than anything in this world to lose my weight to make him happy and i would love to lose it for me as well so that i could feel attractive but i don't know whats wrong with me why i cant lose it i can lose a couple kgs but then put it back on plus more.
i'm honestly stuck in what to do at this moment and time all i can think about is that 1 good day its all i dream about at night but it just seems to get further and further away from my grasp.
Any advice on how to cope or what i should do with my situation would be greatly appreciated xx