Hi Quirky, thanks for the link! Overall it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before but very good things to keep in mind.
Sorry for being vague about what I'm doing, I understand your confusion. Basically I'm at uni, doing some commissions on the side (particularly with this project which is right down the line of my interests and something I wanted to do) yet can't bring myself to do anything. Yes, that has affected my study and work but no major consequences yet. I did avoid a lot of things back in high school since I didn't find a reason they were important, and I think that's the same thing going on here, while logically I understand the importance of study and work, my brain is just not registering the things I need/want to do, so it doesn't get done.
Thanks for the tip on rewards, I have tried that in the past however it just wasn't enough of a push for me unfortunately.
Yeah, there are negative consequences for not finishing these things, things like not getting the money, letting people down, letting my reputation suffer, the 'public embarrassment' kind of side to it all, since people know I was meant to do this. However while I would logically care about that, and know that other people's time is important, inside I'm just ignoring that and do not care. Not to be mean or rude, more that it's just not registering as something I ever needed to do.
I wouldn't say it's a motivation thing..? It's more like you could have my family at gunpoint, tell me you'll give me a million bucks and have the task itself be the easiest, most interesting thing to do in the world and I still wouldn't do it. Not in a passive aggressive attitude way, but more in a "I'm not finding this to be important, so I'm not putting my time into this" sort of way. Even if I actively want to do the task it's stupidly hard. Overall I'm more prepared to deal with the consequences of failing, in fact I expect myself to fail, instead of doing the task itself.
I keep forgetting to mention this but I do have anxiety so that's why this total lack of stress is so alienating to me. I have depression as well so this is probably that but I still need advice. Thanks for the help so far.