There is no doubt that over the last few weeks that I've felt a flurry of emotions over the post-exam period. Having all my previous exams handed back, I could not find a moment where I felt satisfaction.
Such exams started about a month ago, just a week before I had my camp and the rest of the holidays. There is a possibility that I may not have studied well enough, but one issue that does stand out, again and again, is leaving questions unanswered. A tiny chunk of these were ones I didn't understand, but most were slightly easier to grasp the meaning of. Where slightly more were left unanswered, I felt worse when I looked at others' scores (and no, I didn't disclose my score).
While being marked down to C isn't something so major to worry about for the first exam, the problem is fixating on others' results. Unlike a normal grade marking scheme, they're based on the year-level cohort's results. After taking a look, this put me slightly below average, which has always been rare. I've had a little chat with parents, yet there's still something that stirs within me to be felt again as a flashback. Having one again today made me feel I couldn't turn a blind eye, hence the writing of this thread.
I've also had similar feelings from occasional tests before the exam. After repeating the process of disappointment over and over again by realising, yet no action done, I feel my motivation is slowly leeching off and my mood swinging a bit more.