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Topic: Possible eating disorder? don’t know what to do!

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. lilbuggy
    lilbuggy avatar
    4 posts
    1 January 2019

    Hey there. First of all, i’d like to thank you for taking time out of your days to read this.

    In another thread post i’ve explained a lot about some abuse and other mentally stressing things i’ve put up with in my life, so i won’t be going on about that today.

    For the past couple years, i’ve been a bit on the chubby side. I wasn’t ever overweight, just definitely towards that end of the scale. I’ve alwysd been really self conscious of that, but haven’t ever done anything about it. Food is what i grew up with around me (my parents were both chefs so i was raised in that kind of environment), so i would just eat and eat and eat.

    In the past 6 months, i was getting sick of my weight and decided to do something about it. 

    I would research ways to lose weight, and for some reason anorexia of the idea of starving myself was always something i thought about. My mother who i have a very rocky relationship with and don’t speak to, she suffered anorexia and then bullemia for about 4 years in her early twenties.

    Everything she told me about joe sick she was, and everything i’ve read about your health and eating disorders stopped me from following that. So i would work out and home and eat in smaller portions.

    That didntdo much, so i decided to take the plunge and eat very little for a week. I skipped lunch everyday, didn’t snack and had small breakfasts/dinners.

    About 2 months after that, i was still struggling. But this time, i feel into that stuff without realising. I downloaded fasting apps and calorie counters. 

    I download pro-ana posts and have them in a folder, and i document my journey. My waist has got increasingly smaller and i’m dropping weight very fast. This has been going on for about a month. Im now tired all the time, experiencing my depression episodes more frequently and longer, having panic episodes when i gain weight and cutting myself off from friends and family. Everytime i get up i feel light headed and i’m tired all the time. Im starting to get scared but im so scared to reach out? My dads started to notice and i even told my best friend but it hasn’t made much difference.

    If anyone could help me in any way i’d appreciate it heaps<3

  2. jess334
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    jess334 avatar
    18 posts
    2 January 2019 in reply to lilbuggy

    Hi Lilbuggy,

    Welcome to the forums.

    I also suffer from an eating disorder, although mine is a phobia of eating because I'm terrified of being sick. However I know the struggle of trying to force yourself to eat and loosing a lot of weight quickly.

    I think the reason starvation is appealing to people like us is that it is a method of inserting control over our life. I feel like if I don't eat I can control my anxiety. Unfortunately that isn't true! Starving ourselves just makes us feel sicker and weaker and even more susceptible to mental health issues.

    I would strongly encourage you to go and see your GP and ask for help. Speaking to a psychologist will also be really helpful. It is possible to get better, but you have to be able to put your health above your weight goal.

    Loosing weight in a slow but healthy way might get frustrating but it is better for you physically and mentally. Your GP should be able to refer you to a nutritionist who can help you set up new healthy eating habits.

    Please keep using the forums if you are able. It's a great place to find support and like minded people.

    Kind thoughts, Jess

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    2 posts
    2 January 2019

    Hi lilbuggy,

    Great to see you reaching out on the beyondblue forum. You have stated in your post that you are struggling to reach out. Thank you for telling your story on the forum and taking this step towards finding the right path.

    It sounds like you are having a tough time with how you are feeling and how to find the right help. You have mentioned you have tried to reach out to your dad and also your best friend - I wonder if you have another person that you are close to such as a teacher or coach? You also mentioned that you and your mum don't get along well. It it would be understandable that you would not want to reach out to her, however given she has gone through anorexia in the past, she may be more understanding than you think.

    The most important thing is to reach our sooner than later. I have worked as a nurse with young people with eating disorders and most of them wished they had gotten help earlier. Seeking help asap with a parent, friend, or someone you trust is important in your case as your symptoms are new. These symptoms can get better. You can feel good about your body no matter what its size. This might take some time but the effort to get support is worth it.

    If you are not comfortable talking to someone close to you about how you are feeling there are many other options. One I can recommend is the Butterfly Foundation - this organisation focuses on helping people with eating disorders and body image issues. It has a free confidential helpline who have counsellors who are specifically trained to help people who are experiencing stress related to eating disorders and body image issues. The number is 1800 33 4673. You can reach out to this support line anytime between 8am - 9pm AEST.

    Another number to call is KidsHelpLine which is a free call on 1800 551 800, counsellors on the end of this number can offer you support immediately. Anytime, Any Reason.

    Another option is to get someone to go with you to a GP (Doctor) as Jess mentioned above. Your Doctor can support you and and get you an appointment to see a counsellor who can help you work through this hard time in how your feeling and thinking. This can also help with some of the past abuse that you have mentioned and if you are feeling unsafe, threatened or out of control at any time, call 000.

    Please post on the forum and let us know how you are and if you have found someone to support you. You are worth it.

    Wishing you the best possible outcome,

    Nurse Jenn

    2 people found this helpful
  4. MsPurple
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    MsPurple avatar
    153 posts
    2 January 2019 in reply to lilbuggy

    HI lilbuggy and welcome to the forums

    I personally know how tough it can be to struggle with an eating disorder and feeling the need for control over yourself as well as your weight. I also went down the bad pat of pro-ana websites. Unfortunately they are bad news. I wish I didn't go on them. The basically told me how to be unwell. It makes you feel worse. It compares you to others and makes you feel bad if you didn't make your weight goal. I advise you to try avoid those websites. I know it is tough, it is like a security blanket and may make you feel like you are part of a club, but honest it is bad news and in the long run will make you feel worse

    I think nurse jen has given some great advise. The butterfly foundation has lots of information regarding ED. I shared this on another thread so thought I'd also share it on this one . Most people only know the main 3: anorexia, bulimia and binge eating. But there is one called OSFED (previously known as EDNOS - eating disorder not otherwise specified). Anyways "OSFED stands for Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders. OSFED may present with many of the symptoms of other eating disorders but will not meet the full criteria for diagnosis of these disorders. OSFED is no less serious and with treatment, recovery is possible." (quoted from butterfly foundation). I can not say this is what you have, but a lot of people don't realise that there is one that they may have. They think they have to wait till they be anorexic to have an eating disorder which isn't the case. I was first diagnosed with EDNOS, and my brain was just as unwell as anorexia and I was mentally in a world of pain. I am glad I got help before I was more unwell as it could have gotten worse and recover would have taken longer.

    I think it would be good to talk to someone about htis. Maybe a professional. If you are under 25 there is a youth mental health service called headspace. They have an online service as well as centres across Australia. They bulk bill. Find them on www.headspace.org.au

    Hope this has been helpful. I am an open book so if you want to ask anything feel free to do so

    1 person found this helpful