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Topic: Point To Life?

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. HeIp
    HeIp avatar
    2 posts
    2 September 2019

    To anyone reading this, I am 18 and have never been loved neither conditionally nor unconditionally by anyone. Most would say I am being dramatic, but what is the point to my life? I have no interest in marriage, dating or having kids so I am struggling to see the point in working my life away to just die at the end of it all. I have no religious faiths and most of my generation (specifically my age bracket) can not communicate socially without the use of a technological device. I lived in one state for about the first 12 years of my life, in which I left my childhood friends behind, and moved to another and struggled to find like-minded people. I eventually found a group in which I assimilated but was isolated at the same time - not invited to outings and such for no reason (I am not pessimistic - openly at least) so I have always felt excluded. About 9 months ago I moved back to that state and guess what? Not even a whisper about me leaving (mind you I waited a couple of months for people to initiate contact via social media - I do so and all I was given was short replies and neglection as is common in my life so I delete social media). So I end up at this fancy new school, new system of education (transition from grade 11 in one state to grade 12 in another) and I think to myself "Maybe things will be different" but nope, its much worse, I have no friends (I made numerous attempts for a very long time but everyone was more interested in their phones) and if it weren't for my sister I would have no one to talk to at school. This is as low as I have ever been with my grades reflecting this. I have never had a job and I think that I am stuffed as there was never an opportunity to do so (the town I was in for 6 years was very family-employer heavy so you had to either be family friends or childhood friends with people to get a part-time job), so I think that my life is pretty much pointless now as I have nothing to contribute to anything.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. anniefakename
    anniefakename avatar
    3 posts
    2 September 2019 in reply to HeIp

    Hi. I have been feeling the exact same way this past year. I don't have the answers at any means but please try to talk to someone. Trust me, i know it isn't easy but it feels a lot better to not have the burden on you anymore. I focus on things i can look forward and activities for the future so i do not feel so hopeless. I try to keep busy by reading and listening to podcasts while i clean or do house work. Music is good but it can also make me feel sad so i listen to podcasts and watch uplifting youtube videos. I'm sure you are an amazing person and are loved by many, many people. I hope more people leave you helpful advice. Help and support is here for you.

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    496 posts
    2 September 2019 in reply to anniefakename

    Hi, welcome

    I do understand your dilemma as I felt that way when a teenager.

    If I felt like that now, at 63yo, I wouldnt be replying. So why am I replying? Because to give to others by helping or nursing or saving is the greatest reward and purpose you'll ever experience.

    Therapists, nurses, amoes, doctors, pathology, op shop volunteers, aged care etc, are all jobs helping people...work that is priceless.

    Google

    Beyondblue topic the good Samaritan

    I was a member of a car club. Due to depression I left Facebook...no one bothered with me anymore. Its the way it is now. However not everyone is like that. Keep going with trying friendships.

    Google

    Beyondblue topic never ever give up

    We moved to a small country town when my daughter was 16yo. I told her she had to get a job. There was 3 shops in town only. She came home after her first day in her new school. "My new friends told me I havent got any chance of getting a job at those places"

    I told her never ever give up. She applied. The next day two of the shops rang her She got both jobs. She left one of them after two weeks and stayed at the other for 5 years and bought her new car for cash!

    Finally. You have certain views of how your life will pan out. But you will change. At 30 you will have different views, plans and people in your life. Be hopeful not negative, be aspiring not defeated, become a planner.

    Google

    Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

    If all else fails then I suggest you join the Army, Navy or Air Force. Then you'll have all what you need. Income, career, profession, friends, adventure and purpose.

    The RAAF set me up for life.

    Well done in reaching out. That takes courage.

    TonyWK.

  4. Doolhof
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Doolhof avatar
    381 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to HeIp

    Hi and Welcome,

    It can be hard moving to a new area and connecting with people and the region you live in.

    Modern day ways of communicating can exclude some people and I am sure it does effect the way people connect.

    I'm wondering if there are any clubs or groups you could join at the school or in your community. When we moved to our small town I found a couple of volunteer positions until I found employment.

    Do you have hobbies and interests you can expand and see if there are places where you can indulge in these things? Maybe even look at the local council site and see if they have any interesting programs available.

    Sometimes when I am at social gatherings and feel out of place, I find another person who looks just as lost as I feel and go and talk to them. Maybe you could try that at school.

    You have received a few ideas here, hope some of them help you!

    Cheers from Dools

  5. HeIp
    HeIp avatar
    2 posts
    29 February 2020
    My feelings have not changed...what does this mean?
  6. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    105 posts
    1 March 2020 in reply to HeIp

    Hi Help

    It's definitely tough when you're a natural but not a lot of people around you are as natural. It can leave you thinking 'What's wrong with me?!'

    • It's natural to not be interested in a relationship, getting married or having kids until you are interested
    • It's natural to be curious about life and how it ticks, without looking to a religion to help explain it. Personally, I was raised Catholic. Went through somewhat of a guilt process leaving this faith behind me, in search of greater satisfaction. I found it in the basics of quantum physics, aspects of Prana and a host of other things that give different points of view on life
    • It's natural to not be stuck to a phone or social media. Paying attention to life is far more natural in my opinion. Used to really grind my gears when I'd take my kids for swimming lessons and watch most of the parents around the pool ignoring their kids, in favour of their phone. And who the heck gives a 2 year old in a pram an ipad in place of alerting them to the sensory stimuli around them in life?! It's not natural for anyone to continuously ignore life because of the gadget in their hand
    • Whilst it's common for people to not welcome someone with open arms into a new environment, it's not natural behaviour. We're social creatures. If you were to watch a group of incredibly natural people, you'd observe them welcome a stranger into their group without hesitation

    So, now that you know you're a perfectly natural person who's in a low possibly because of the unnatural behaviour of others, the question becomes 'Where to from here?'

    What's your natural interest? Is it possible to join a group with the same interest? Whilst you may have nothing notable on your work resume, is it possible for you to look into volunteer work? Employers take volunteer contributions in to account when they look at resumes. Does your school provide opportunity for volunteer work in the local community? By the way, I have a 20yo niece who's a natural legend with no interest in a relationship at this point in her life and no employment history. She's more invested in study. She's taken a volunteer position in the community, which she has come to love.

    Whilst I'm not a religious person, I do regard myself as a natural or spiritual gal. I felt incredibly isolated until someone advised 'Join a circle of like minded people and thrive on enjoying what's natural for you'. When you vibe with your tribe, they raise you. Others can simply bring us down.

    :)