I do understand your dilemma as I felt that way when a teenager.
If I felt like that now, at 63yo, I wouldnt be replying. So why am I replying? Because to give to others by helping or nursing or saving is the greatest reward and purpose you'll ever experience.
Therapists, nurses, amoes, doctors, pathology, op shop volunteers, aged care etc, are all jobs helping people...work that is priceless.
Beyondblue topic the good Samaritan
I was a member of a car club. Due to depression I left Facebook...no one bothered with me anymore. Its the way it is now. However not everyone is like that. Keep going with trying friendships.
Beyondblue topic never ever give up
We moved to a small country town when my daughter was 16yo. I told her she had to get a job. There was 3 shops in town only. She came home after her first day in her new school. "My new friends told me I havent got any chance of getting a job at those places"
I told her never ever give up. She applied. The next day two of the shops rang her She got both jobs. She left one of them after two weeks and stayed at the other for 5 years and bought her new car for cash!
Finally. You have certain views of how your life will pan out. But you will change. At 30 you will have different views, plans and people in your life. Be hopeful not negative, be aspiring not defeated, become a planner.
Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life
If all else fails then I suggest you join the Army, Navy or Air Force. Then you'll have all what you need. Income, career, profession, friends, adventure and purpose.
The RAAF set me up for life.
Well done in reaching out. That takes courage.