Good Morning Tuilop
I wanted to say welcome to the forums and I am so glad that you have chosen to speak and join us here in a wonderful supportive community. You will not be judged or criticized here, you can say as much or as little as you want/need, we are here for you.
I just wanted to put something to you in that you said you chose to end the friendship, I am wondering if this is truly what you indeed want to do? The reason I say that is that I hear that you say in public you want to avoid this person and you are thinking of changing your appearance to avoid recognition. I am just thinking if you were 100% sure of leaving your friend, that it was indeed better for your wellbeing etc..that you would be feeling at peace with it, that you would feel that inside you have made a good choice for you. Now I am by no means suggesting you have made a bad choice I am just wondering that if you have made the best choice for you.
Friendships are hard and they take work and if this friend is no longer for you that is totally fine and that is what life is all about, finding our people who we connect with and can have meaningful relationships with, that they in turn make us feel good and supported and we do the same for them. Sometimes these friendships go through a rough patch when someone hurts us, sometimes unintentionally and without knowing.
If this ended friendship has left you wanting to change who you are and change your appearance that does not sound like peace to me, I may have this wrong and you might just wanting to be doing the whole avoidance thing as you are hurt, but I think you should be able to go out and be you, and not have to change and be at peace with your choice.
I am so sorry you are going through this tough time and I am here for you if you would like to chat some more, I would really like to know what you have thought about my suggestion to you.
Hope today brings a smile.
Hugs to you