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Topic: New to this need some help

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Cresw1ck
    Cresw1ck avatar
    6 posts
    17 March 2020

    I’ve always been pretty reluctant to get help, I’ve always thought it was weak to ask for help but I really need it, I’m so lost and so scared of how my life’s going to turn out and my friends don’t understand how I am and why I do things I do, I’m now a month sober yesterday and I’m starting to struggle again, I really just need a friend Thankyou

  2. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    98 posts
    18 March 2020 in reply to Cresw1ck

    Hi Cresw1ck

    I am so proud that you have reached out here on the forums, welcome and we are here to support you and to give you some comfort, some hope and to help you through this time.

    It is most certainly not weak to speak, it is the most bravest thing you will do, to acknowledge you are feeling bad, that you need some help and that you feel lost and scared. I think the other thing you will notice here is that you are not alone, that so many others feel the same way and that is why these forums are so wonderful. People can share how they are managing, or not managing and help and reach out to others with love and care.

    I am so very proud of you for being a month sober, well done, I cannot image how tough it is but you are doing it and you are here to get some support so well done and you keep on going, even if it is hour by hour. We are here to chat so come online and talk it through, there are also some wonderful help lines that you can call too and I am sure you are aware of those. Even LifeLine if you need some extra support too, they are on 13 11 14.

    I would like to chat some more to you if you feel like sharing more of your story Cresw1ck, I am here to support you as best I can, as is the rest of this community.

    I am not here as a result of alcohol, I am here as a result of suicide and losing my brother.

    I hope you come back to chat some more.

    Huge hugs to you

    Sarah xxx

  3. Cresw1ck
    Cresw1ck avatar
    6 posts
    18 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Gday Sarah

    Thankyou heaps for your reply I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your brother But Thankyou it’s always been a big thing for me convincing myself that I’m okay and that if I work a bit harder on myself that I’ll get through things, more than happy to chat more. Always been quite embarrassed to get my feelings out but better out than in and try something new with the way I go about things in life

  4. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    98 posts
    18 March 2020 in reply to Cresw1ck

    Well that is a really great attitude Cresw1ck and I am so happy to chat to you as much as you like.

    Thank you so much for your support and kind words about my brother, it was possibly the hardest thing I have done and will have to do in my life and that is accept his passing. But thank goodness for this forum, for the people here and the supportive words and sharing their stories really helps.

    It is hard to talk about feelings and I guess that is the joy too of being anonymous, the only person who knows who you are is you, which hopefully encourages you to share how you feel, to see what things we can suggest to help you manage these things, others will jump in too and have some tools and tips and share their stories, as together we really are stronger.

    As you can see by how many threads there are here and how many people come to chat everyday that this is a safe place, that you will not be judged and you will not be criticized, just supported which is once again, the power of the forum.

    Maybe I can start off for you with some questions? You say that your friends dont understand the things you do and why you do them? Did you want to talk some more about that? It is ok if you dont feel ready, we could even just talk about how you are spending your days or the things that you get joy from in your life at the moment.

    You are so right that it is much better to get things off your chest that to keep it all tied up and ready to explode.

    Once again I cannot say how proud I am that you are one month sober, that is huge and I am glad you have reached out here before you have reached out for a drink, that is amazing.

    You have friends here Cresw1ck.

    Hugs

    Sarah xxx

  5. Cresw1ck
    Cresw1ck avatar
    6 posts
    18 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hey Sarah

    cannot Thankyou enough for how fantastic you’re being, I spend my days playing video games working out going for runs etc, unfortunately with this covid-19 thing my footy and cricket season have been cancelled/cut short so that’s going to be really hard to deal with, my friends love going out and getting pissed whenever they can and trying to stick in touch with them while moving on from that lifestyle has been a great challenge but most have been quite supportive and usually pay for my nights out and my soft drinks etc, I’m working but it’s pretty shit work and I hate it I get paid barely anything and I’m trying to find any job anywhere to get out of that place, I’m usually really good and happy throughout the day and I don’t know why but it’s almost as soon as the sun drops so does my mood and I just spend most nights really sad, a lot of my friends are very well off well their families are and my aren’t so they’re always in the nice cars or I never have friends over because I’m embarrassed of my house etc, when I’ve spoken to them in the past about how I feel etc none have ever understood and always get the ‘cheer up mate you’ll be right’ or ‘it gets better’ which are just the most stock standard answers and I think they’re bull, but I can’t get angry at them or frustrated because they don’t have any idea, that’s why I came here, friends who know or have some knowledge of what I’m going through

    once again cannot Thankyou and appreciate you enough

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    98 posts
    18 March 2020 in reply to Cresw1ck

    Hey Cresw1ck

    It is my pleasure to be here for you, I hear you with regards to the COVID-19 issues and sport, my daughter is sporty and she is devistated that her netball and football have been cancelled, her training's cancelled and this is having a big impact on her as she needs this in her life. I think now the key is to try to turn this time into a positive and perhaps use it as a time that you can do something that you thought you would never do, like learn a language or do some painting or something crafty that you have always wanted to try and these things you can do at home and also alone if needed. These are just examples but you might have some things in the back of your mind that you have wanted to do but just never have. It is hard when your friends are social and like the pub and drinking scene and you are then put in a tricky spot, do I not go to be strong to my sobriety or do I go and feel like I am a drag and not enjoying the time with them like I want to. I think you are so awesome for choosing strength and sticking to your sobriety and choosing soft drink to maintain your social pub trips. I am wondering if you can do some new things with your mates that are not alcohol focused? I am not sure what things you are interested in but back yard cricket and a BBQ, do it at lunchtime and there is less desire to pull out the beer. Perhaps go carting or other activities that put you all on the same level and dont make you feel like you are missing out. This could also be a great thing for them too as it can show them that you don't need a drink to have a good time.

    This is a time in your life and it is not an indication of the rest of your life, you are struggling a bit at the moment, you are feeling alot on your shoulders, that you are not earning enough, that your house is not enough, that you are embarrassed about your life compared to that of your friends. Can I ask you if you think about the cars that your friends drive when you are hanging out? or the house that they live in? or are you just in the moment enjoying being with your mates? I am sure that is what they are thinking too, I know I don't think about what my friends drive and where they live, I just love being with them. I get it is hard, so hard no to compare...it is human nature...but I can bet your friends are friends with you for who you are.

    I am running out of characters here so I want to mention about them supporting you...will do that in the next post.

    Hugs

    Sarah x

  7. Cresw1ck
    Cresw1ck avatar
    6 posts
    25 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hey Sarah

    hope you’re doing well, I apologise for my late replies just been having a tough time and felt I really let myself down went away for our cricket trip this weekend and I’ve recently been feeling quite heartbroken and I decided to have a drink to celebrate my team winning our premiership thinking I could handle one, very quickly it threw me straight down the path I clawed my way out but it helped too we went to a bar and because once again I was intoxicated I could speak to girls and I wasn’t hiding or not speaking to them or making up excuses like I usually would, sorry for letting you down Sarah you’d been such a big help before

  8. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    98 posts
    25 March 2020 in reply to Cresw1ck

    Hey Cresw1ck

    It is great to hear back from you, but this is your thread and I am here for you so no pressure at all to be here and posting as an obligation, you come and go as you feel you need to and I will be here when you need.

    Also please don't think you have let me down, you can never let me down and I am not here to judge you or have any expectations, I am here to support you and to provide some comfort and perhaps have a chat about things that can be done to help you.

    I am so happy to hear that you do feel supported here, that is really great, CONGRATULATIONS on winning your cricket premiership, that is absolutely fantastic and a huge achievement, well done to you and your team. I get that you want to celebrate and enjoy the moment with your team and mates, it is part of the Aussie way, good or bad. I know in light of your one month sobriety you will be feeling very bad about the fact you did have a drink and that one led to another, the thing is that behavior changes are hard and mostly people do fall down a few times before they "kick the habit" so to speak. Alcohol is no different to a diet or quitting smoking or stopping online shopping or any addiction people have, and it is hard, bloody hard, it would not be called an addiction if it was easy to stop. So I ask you to forgive yourself, you are human, you make choices that aren't always good ones, but hey, we all do it. Today you start over, you take a breath and you start over, you tell yourself you are not a bad person, you have not let anyone down, you made a bad choice and today is a new day.

    You have proved to yourself that you can do a month and that is a wonderful achievement, never forget that.

    Stand outside, take a huge breath in, let the bad out, forgive yourself and allow yourself some slack here. You get back on that horse and off we go again, I am here to chat anytime you need to.

    Once again Cresw1ck I am not here to judge you so you never have to apologize to me. I think you are so much stronger than you know.

    Chat soon and hugs to you.

    Sarah xx