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Topic: My self esteem is incredibly low and i do not feel like i have any worth

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. giggywick
    giggywick avatar
    2 posts
    12 November 2019
    From a young age my parents have told me that i was "special", my dad told me i was smart and continually told me that i was autistic, not as an insult or anything he meant it as a compliment of sorts or more like a fact (i do not know why he wants me to be autistic and i have never been diagnosed so i do not know where he got that idea from). In primary school i was put into a gifted class, but i never performed as well as anyone else, i struggled with basic maths from around year 4 onwards and complex questions about tax and Pythagoras confused me to no end. Now i am in year 9 and i am in compaction science but i am still struggling in class, i have been scraping Cs in maths still and have only ever gotten one A and that was in french. The delusion that i am "smart" is crumbling and my self esteem as never been lower, i have been thrown into the deep end and my self worth is suffering immensely. I often think that my life means nothing and i will never achieve anything i am terrified about the future, i do not know what i will do as a career even working at McDonalds feels like it would be challenge. Exams are coming up soon and i havent studied at all, it feels like theres no point cause i will fail anyway. I have zero talents i cannot play any instruments, play any sports, i do not excel in any subjects, even things i invest lots of time in trying to get better at like video games i am still bad at (ive only ever achieved low gold in one of the games i play a lot), i even get upset about small things like messing up the spelling of a single word, i cannot answer any questions on IQ tests (admittedly they were online and not that good but i still couldnt answer ANY of the questions). I do not know what to do, i do not know if this is just normal teenage insecurity or something else but i figured because i cant talk to anyone else i ought to post here.
  2. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    481 posts
    12 November 2019 in reply to giggywick

    Hi giggy

    yep,I think I can help you. You might need to read this a few times ok.

    We can’t all be astronauts. In fact we can’t all finish uni or even year 12 but, that doesn’t mean we are dumb, it means we are less intellectual.

    Think of a castle. They’ll be builders,architects, royals, guards etc but they all need to be fed by farmers,butchers,reapers,cooks,servants and maids. If they were all intellects no one would eat.

    Ina hospital, what is the most important job? A doctor?,nurse?,surgeon?...in fact it’s the cleaner.what is the good of giving operations if a hospital is full of germs?

    So it’s the stigma of not getting a good education or “you are just a cleaner” that is the problem. It’s societies problem not yours.

    Most people have one thing they are good at but in sport you need to be gifted. If elephants ran in horse races I’d enter! Unfortunately if you can run fast or swim fast you can be a hero but the real hero’s are firefighters,soldiers,amboes,police etc see how society is wrong?

    You best avenue is to seek out a career you have a good chance of achieving in. Say it’s retail. So eventually you start in a supermarket. What’s the most important job there?... a shelf packer. Nothing on shelves can be sold if there is no goods there. That’s where you’ll start and like many jobs you’ll master it then proceed to a checkout etc.

    You are under pressure to perform at school. Remember, your best is good enough and people should respect that. Accept that you are unique and a good person not a failure. You might not pass your exams but you didn’t fail... you succeeded in participating, do you see what I’m talking about?

    At 17yo I knew I’d never be an intellect,I joined the AirForce then 3 years later joined the prison service then a dog ranger then ran my own private investigation business. That’s the domino effect. So the question is how successful was I compared to an engineer that passed uni?

    Very successful. Be kind to yourself. Your dad was right,you are clever just not intellectual... but just as important

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. giggywick
    giggywick avatar
    2 posts
    12 November 2019 in reply to white knight
    Thank you very much for responding, that makes me feel much better. Your response was very heartfelt :), it reminded me of a quote from dr who “900 years of time and space and I've never met someone who wasn't important.”. You're right about the fact that cooks and maids are just as important for running a castle as a royal guard or king, I just wasn't quite thinking straight at the time i had a bad day and all my thoughts were negative and cloudy. Your response made me feel a lot better :)

    2 people found this helpful
  4. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    481 posts
    12 November 2019 in reply to giggywick

    Hi

    Thanks for replying back. I'm so glad, I have a youtube video you can google.

    All the best

    Youtube Maharaji prem rawat sunset

    Youtube Maharaji Prem Rawat the perfect instrument

    TonyWK