Hello! I'm new here and desperately need someone to talk to.
I'm 21 and still living with my parents but I want to move out, however, it's hard to find work because of my age, and that I am at university. Anyways, the issue lies with my parents. I had a terrible childhood which resulted in depression, anxiety and PTSD, with my mother, and I thought it would be fine after I moved in with my dad and future stepmother. After therapy, my depression wasnt as bad but I swear it's coming back. My parents are confusing. They often say one thing but then it changes after. I wanted to study something I would enjoy. They were supportive but after a sudden "pricate" discussion, they now think I will regret it because I'm not studying something that would make me more money. I dont care about money except for moving out. I just feel like they dont appreciate my feelings. I'm passionate about writing and will be studying English and creative writing, but according to them, I will never find a job when i told them my degree will let me be a teacher. I just dont know what to do. I cant talk to them because they turn it around so I feel like the bad guy and they are the victim. This also goes with them complaining about money before wasting it on alcohol, my stepmother talking down to me while treating her son (who is my age) like a prince. Commenting that I am too skinny before complaining about me buying food for myself. I cant tell them that the way they talk to me makes me feel down about myself. It's hard because I have no passion for science, maths or anything he enjoys. I just feel like they dont care for my mental health. I hope this makes sense. They basically complain about almost everything I do. That i cant look after myself, that I dont clean properly, that i talk back when i just want to voice my opinion, that I am unladylike. Ugh... i just. I just dont know anymore. I mean, i cant even tell jokes anymore because they cant tell when i am being serious or not. I feel like my step mother has changed my dad and i hate to say it, but i just feel no joy around my father like i used to. Please give advice. I just dont know who to turn to.