Hello everyone,

I'm 19 years old and I have been talking to a girl online for 5 months and 15 days.. I cannot get this girl to meet me. We love each other very much. I've been there for her though a lot of hard times, I've sent her roses multiple times and we always talk about cuddling in bed. This girl has anxitey and axnitey attacks. Shes afraid I will see her brake down in tears, roll up in a ball and hear her breath out of control. I've asured her I dont mind seeing that and will be there and cuddle her and hold her hand until everything is ok. This relationship is taking a toll out of my life. Everything I do I cant have fun anymore I just think about her. I'm in bed at night pretending to cuddle her and I've cried alot because I can't see her. I will not leave her I love her alot. I dont know what to do. I know where she works but I wont go in there as I know she wouldnt like me just rocking up there. I'm really worried I'm never gonna see her. She says it's hard for her too and she really wants to see me and has wrote many times come around and see me but has deleted the message cos she can't do it. What do I do? How can I help this situation?

Hi, welcome

Sorry to hear of this strain in your life.

I have to suggest a few realities. Firstly it takes two to make a relationship and two committed people at that. In this case some commitment on her part is lacking, perhaps not deliberate, but it is her decision.

This means you are powerless to promote this relationship without putting it at risk through adding pressure. She should however acknowledge what this situation is doing to you. After much talk about it you both should be able to come to an arrangement to meet.

If this doesnt eventuate then it will be for a few reasons. One of these is that she could be hiding crutial information about herself that she doesnt want you to know.

From an outsider my fear is that she could be living with a guy or has a bf. As you have not met yet you cannot discount such a possibility.

I hope I am wrong but until her life is exposed, you are vulnerable. It doesnt add up.

I hope it works out and you continue to share developments in this post.

TonyWK

Hey mate I reslly appreciate you talking time out of your day to write to me. Your right it dose take 2 to commit to make a relationship. Yeah I am powerless to make this relationship more without putting it at risk. This girls axnitey levels is really high and shes too scared to talk to the doctors about it. Infact I'm the only one to know about her anxiety and her mum knows a little bit but not the extent i know about it. I can tell shes not faking it. She has really opend up to me about everything in her life. She says shes not ever had a boyfriend. Shes 18 years old and shes also not sexually active. She was not looking for a relationship but we both fell in love with each other. I've told her how its affecting me and she just says shes sorry shes caused so much pain.