Sorry to hear of this strain in your life.
I have to suggest a few realities. Firstly it takes two to make a relationship and two committed people at that. In this case some commitment on her part is lacking, perhaps not deliberate, but it is her decision.
This means you are powerless to promote this relationship without putting it at risk through adding pressure. She should however acknowledge what this situation is doing to you. After much talk about it you both should be able to come to an arrangement to meet.
If this doesnt eventuate then it will be for a few reasons. One of these is that she could be hiding crutial information about herself that she doesnt want you to know.
From an outsider my fear is that she could be living with a guy or has a bf. As you have not met yet you cannot discount such a possibility.
I hope I am wrong but until her life is exposed, you are vulnerable. It doesnt add up.
I hope it works out and you continue to share developments in this post.