I'm 17, in year 12 and I'm feeling very lost.
I feel like it's hard for me to be happy on a day-to-day basis. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and ever since last year I spent half the time with my mum and the other half of the week with my dad. My dad has remarried - my stepmother had two kids from a previous marriage - and now I have two half sisters as well. Now I spend the whole week at my mums and go to my dads Friday night and return to my mum's Saturday afternoons. In the past I have had issues with my stepmother, though currently we are on good terms.
My 'real' mum and I, while I love her, we have our difficulties. She has been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety and depression but has them under control. I feel she sometimes has unrealistic expectations and whilst she is able to talk about mental health, I feel when I talk to her she doesn't understand me. A lot of times I feel a disconnect and when we do communicate, our brains are just on two different paths. We argue often and overall at home I feel like I am a trapped bird.
Then there's school. Whilst I have a relatively good situation at school, I feel I lack motivation and get annoyed by competitive peers. I know that school is an important thing for me. I want to do well and know it will benefit my future... though knowing this does not help me find a purpose.
My friends aren't the type to hang out often and though we hang out morning tea and lunch, I feel somehow there is a disconnect (no this is not me being anti-social, though it may be a cause).
I feel I overall lack purpose, not having a fantastic social life, 'normal' family or current hobbies. When I get depressive thoughts, a lot of the time, I can manage them effectively myself. However things are starting to crumble and my ability to block these out are becoming diminished. Honestly, it's a lot to do with purpose and not seeing any point in doing anything anymore.
Re-reading this, all this information may seem irrelevant, however I feel somehow it relates to my current state of mind.
Hope someone can relate