just making this post because i’m not sure if what i’m feeling is temporary or something somewhat serious.
it started 2 years ago when i left high school in year 10 to work, the next year things were fine between me and my friends but i still found it so hard to cope with the changes.
this year has been completely different, i got a boyfriend at the start of the year who i have known for almost two years & he has been the only one that’s really been there for me.
i understand my friends are busy with school but they never make an effort to see me anymore, maybe it’s because i’ve become somewhat different to them now as i have a different attitude towards most things compared to them
& i now smoke weed at least once a week and other drugs every now and then. i personally don’t think it’s entirely an issue or that it’s a bad thing because it’s just something i use to have a good time w my partner, which is things my friends have never experienced & why i probably feel so different to them.
& out of anger and being overwhelmed about feeling so lonely, i left my group chat with all of my group in it because i was over them all talking about school. i never had anything to add to the conversation and when i did i never got a response & i never got a message asking why i left the group chat.
i have also been very upset with most things in my life more than usual; i have no idea what i want to do with my life, i don’t have a close relationship with anyone in my family, i’m scared losing my friends and partner and i’m scared of failing in life.
recently all these things have been on my mind and it constantly bringing me down, if my boyfriend is busy it makes me feel even more lonely as i have no one else to talk to, seeing my friends at parties that i wasn’t invited to makes me feel even worse about myself as well as seeing them succeed in school while i do nothing with myself makes me feel so upset & im not sure how to get out of this rut i’m in.
so yeah that’s basically it, i just kind of want to know what else to do & why i’m feeling the way i do & yeah 💖💖