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Topic: Loneliness is draining

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. anotherteen
    anotherteen avatar
    4 posts
    28 May 2020

    I've had long periods where I've felt incredibly lonely ever since late 2017, where I was in year 7, up until now. In my high school, I feel like I don't fully belong in a group. I've tried different groups but I honestly don't feel like I belong in any, no matter how hard I try. This sounds insane but I've had my fair share of drama and I've tried my absolute best to avoid it, but it has always found a way to me. I feel like many girls don't like me no matter how hard I try to be friends with them - good friends. It makes me feel so incredibly lonely when I see groups of girls and I'm only close to two at my school, who don't even live near me, and three in other schools who don't live near me either. I know that I'd thrive in a better environment, because I'd love to fulfil leadership and extra-curricular roles. I just feel like I'm losing people who I thought I could trust. I feel so small and insignificant in my school. I try really hard to talk to people, and the group I'm in now, but I can't fully click with them? I'd love a big group dynamic, and I'm envious of supportive groups or girl-boy groups. There's a group of girls in my grade, the 'popular' girls, who are in a group with around 30 boys. I used to hang out with these girls, but two of them bullied me in year 7 and I kept this to myself and two of my close friends, because I honestly didn't think others would believe me anyway. I went back to the group I'm in now, and again, I just don't feel a sense of belonging, after 2 years. I know I don't click with other groups too. I'm well-known, but, I just don't feel like the girls in my grade like me, and it's a horrible feeling after 3-4 years at my school. Recently, I've felt so mentally and physically drained. I'd rather focus on assessments or workouts, and now with school starting again, I arrive home and I'm even more exhausted to do these. Another problem I won't go into detail about is my parents; their communication has been getting worse for a while, and it's just hard to be in the middle of that. They aren't necessarily fighting, but it's uncomfortable. I love them each so much and I just can't tell them everything I'm feeling. They've worked very hard for me, and they've listened to me separately before when I was overstressed. I feel lonely without a sibling too, I lost her when she was 8 days. I just feel lonely, and it's been this way for a long time. I play the happy card, but when I get home, I just can't talk to anyone.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    2503 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to anotherteen

    Hi anotherteen,

    We are really glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here with our wonderful community. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling so lonely at the moment, but please know that you've come to safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

    If you feel it may be helpful, we'd encourage you to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. You might also like to get in touch with an organisation called Headspace who offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

    Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread on what you're feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.
     
     

    1 person found this helpful
  3. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10379 posts
    28 May 2020 in reply to anotherteen

    Hello anotherteen and welcome to the forums :-)

    Im sorry for the loss of your sibling....8 days old...I have never experienced the sadness you mentioned...

    I remember when peer group pressure used to make me feel small and insignificant...This feeling is more common than you know and yes it can be awful to go thru..I remember feeling lonely...ugh!

    Just a note if I can....I have friends that dont have the strength and courage you possess by posting here...I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person for being as strong as you are!

    Sophie_M mentioned our friends at the Kids Helpline.....1800 55 1800...the qualified people are super gentle and non judgemental....and its private and confidential of course!

    any questions are always welcome here too!

    my kind thoughts

    Paul