It is great to hear from you although I am so very sorry that you didn't get to see your school counsellor, that is really disappointing, even though you mentioned it perhaps didn't help, the fact you were annoyed that they didn't schedule and appointment perhaps means that you did make some sort of progress there, which is wonderful. I am wondering if you can perhaps pop in and see them and give them a reminder to fit you in for an appointment? Although when you say that there is a problem with this as you had a relationship with him, I am not fully sure I understand, are you able to clarify this for me? Do you mean relationship like counselor/student or one of an emotional relationship?
I hear how much you are struggling and that you feel just stuck, that you can't escape your feelings and that your friends are really letting you down, the girls in the older year level that you mentioned, are you sure that you can not make them friends, just because they are older doesn't mean you can't connect with them and make a friendship there. It is so hard to make friends and I can see what your mum is saying but I get that you are not feeling happy with that response as making a friend that you can hang out with and someone who has your back is important to you and I do get it as friendships are important to me too. I would tend not to give up on trying, it does take some time to find your people, and these girls may just be it, if you can try to put it out there to them and see if they want to catch up you might be surprised.
The friends that you have now are letting you down by excluding you and that is really not a good feeling and it is not what friends do, so I would have to ask you if these people are actually worth the effort?
I know you are angry for having your accident and as a result so many things in your life have changed, but it is called just that ..an accident..and you are not at fault or to blame. Things have changed for you and it does take time to find your feet again, please don't give up hope that your people are out there, they are..you just have to find them. It took my son 2 years at a new school to make friends and find his people, it was so very difficult for him and my heart just broke, that is why I feel for you.
Hugs to you cripjay15 and hope something wonderful that has made you smile today happened.