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Topic: is this it?

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. sop7
    sop7 avatar
    3 posts
    5 March 2020

    I'm 22, finished my uni degree at 20 and have been working full-time for the last 1-2years. I've moved back home into my parents house away from all of my university friends and live in a town that has virtually no-one my age - apart from my now boyfriend who I've been seeing for almost a year. I've recently been getting panic attacks and depressive episodes which is really unlike me. I am wondering "is this it?" about life a lot. It feels like there was such a huge build up at school and uni to get a good full time job, get the boyfriend, travel, get married, have kids, etc and now that I'm finally on that track I don't feel happy at all. I feel depressed and anxious.

    Is this all there is to life? I used to wake up happy in the mornings and excited for what my day would bring and now I wake up sad, angry and irritable. I only have my boyfriend to talk to and am even doubting things with him. I don't know about anything anymore and i just don't know what to do. I can't keep feeling like this forever.

  2. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    98 posts
    5 March 2020 in reply to sop7

    Hi sop7

    Congratulations on posting and for coming to seek some support and comfort and to share what you are going through and get it off your chest. There are so many other young people here sop7 that are feeling the same way you are so you are most definitely not alone and you are most definitely not the only one.

    Being a young adult in today's world is tough and I am so very sorry that there is this pressure, to know what you want to do FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, to know all the answers and feel like you have a plan. Can I tell you I am 45 years old and I still am deciding what I want to do when I grow up....you are 22 years young and have just come out of your "school" years, with school/uni does come some comfort, some structure and the “knowns”, once this is all over you are now out in the “unknown” and this can be scary, and anxious and full of doubts and uncertainties….it is very unsettling….BUT….the good news is that you are now in the drivers seat and you can make choices that drive outcomes for you…make you feel happy and some will make you feel sad and some will be scary but this is life and this is what we do each day, and each day you get up and you do it all again.

    I hear you in that being back at home, away from your friends and feeling very isolated is affecting your mental health and that the “should” are coming into play to ..”should have a job”, “should get married”, “should have kids”….but the truth is that the only thing you “should” do is be true to you. If you want to travel..do it…if you want to volunteer and meet new people and give back…do it….if you don’t want kids…cool…..the exciting future is all yours to choose.

    To answer your question….”NO”…this is not all there is to life…you can have what ever you want sop7…just go get it.

    We are here to support you, to chat some more and to give you hope and comfort so I hope to talk some more to you.

    Huge hugs
    Sarah xx

    1 person found this helpful
  3. ErinB
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    ErinB avatar
    7 posts
    5 March 2020 in reply to sop7
    I'm sorry you're feeling stuck. It sounds like you're in an environment that doesn't have much to offer you. Is there any chance you could move to a bigger city? Try to find things to occupy your time and get you out of the house, maybe volunteering or going to a yoga class. Anything that gives your life some purpose while you figure out what direction you want to go in. Life is definitely what you make it and you're not limited by what society tells you you should be doing. There is so much out there, a whole world to travel, friends to make, things to do, Keep searching for what makes you happy!
    1 person found this helpful
  4. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    131 posts
    5 March 2020 in reply to sop7

    Hi sop7,

    welcome to beyond blue.

    At the end of the day, what you do is really up to you, and to get to that point there are many things one could take into consideration - for example, financial situation, situation of the relationship, places where you can find work, etc.

    Me, I left home to go to Uni in the "big" city. When I finished Uni, I was fortunate enough to get a job in the same city. If I went back "home" the chance then of finding in IT were slim to none. With that said, there are people from same school and year as me that did go back home and still there.

    One of the questions to ask yourself is ... what are some things that I am passionate about? Can I do those things here?

    The other thing to consider is ... what is happening that is making me angry and irritable and ?

    whether you answer these questions here or not is up to you. And I guess if you are able to find the answers to those questions then perhaps you can also work out the resolution. One of the reasons I started moving away from IT is that I did not feel useful or had a purpose. What is you reason?

    Tim

    1 person found this helpful
  5. sop7
    sop7 avatar
    3 posts
    6 March 2020 in reply to ErinB
    Hey Erin, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, it means so much. I spoke to my dad yesterday and he suggested the same - I think I need a place that offers me more opportunities. It's tricky with my boyfriend living here, but I think I've decided I need to do what I can to help myself first, and see what happens between us secondary. I know I'll find that thing! I am just in a rut for now
  6. sop7
    sop7 avatar
    3 posts
    6 March 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Hi Tim,

    thank you! I think I feel 'stuck' here in my job and in my lack of opportunites to meet like-minded people and participate in hobbies with others. I guess that is what irritates me, which would be solved by moving to a city. The things I am passionate about I don't feel as if I can do where I live now. I also feel like my work doesn't benefit the world in any way - I spend 40 hours a week on work that will not drastically improve anyone's lives, and I am replaceable. I like my industry, but it's not important in life.

  7. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    131 posts
    7 March 2020 in reply to sop7

    perhaps you could look at your job as a means of getting money to support something that you like doing?

    I am unsure of the volunteering opportunities you have or what things you believe would benefit the world, and perhaps somewhere in there you can find the thing you want to do.

    As far as moving to the city, is that something you have discussed with your BF?

    could you tell me a little about your work?

    Tim

  8. ErinB
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    ErinB avatar
    7 posts
    7 March 2020 in reply to sop7
    I'm so glad you're putting yourself first. Your mental health is the most important thing and you need to do what's best for you. Everything else will follow. Good luck with everything!!