Imagine1101 welcome to the forum.
You have written a great post.
This is a caring, friendly and supportive community which helps people speak honestly about their experiences.
I can understand how you know that you have a wonderful partner but you feel so insecure you keep checking on him. You can see you are aware what you are doing does not make sense but yet you feel you have to and you can not stop yourself.
What do you think it would it take for you to feel reassured and safe with your boyfriend?
Have you spoken to any health professional like a counsellor about your feelings?
I hoped it has helped to express your feelings here .Sometimes writing down our thoughts can help us see things differently.
I think we all feel insecure to some extent in relationships .
I can see you really care for your boyfriend and have an insight into why you behave as you do.
You are not alone and we are here to support you.
So feel free to post here as much as you like.
I have asked a few questions, only answer them if you feel comfortable doing so.