i live at home with my dad, step ,mum, and three sisters, and i feel like i am living my parents life through me. everything i do is monitored by my parents, everything i say is monitored. i am not aloud to choose what i wear because i dress like i am "homeless." My parents read my texts with my boyfriend and misinterpret them into thinking I've had sex, they track me through my phone to see where i am and think i see him when i am just walking home or at work, they don't believe me when i tell them otherwise. i haven't had sex yet they don't believe me, but when i am ready for it, i want that to be my choice and no one else. My parents see me as the smart child, and i'm the only one they are expecting to go to uni. my mental health has stopped me from doing as good in school as i used to, yet even though i am still passing all my exams, its not 100% so it isn't good enough. I am not aloud to do anything but study, i am not aloud to go out and see my friends and boyfriend, i literally feel like a caged bird, and i feel like they want me to be someone i am not, and the only person i can be myself around is my boyfriend and certain friends, yet i am not even aloud to see them. the most i see them is whilst i am working and they come through my register. i have to deal with constant criticism and even though i want to be a vet, i am willing to put that off and give up my dream from when i was little, just to get out of home. i am no where near getting the ATAR i need, and i am happy to go to TAFE and just do veterinary nursing then study veterinary science once i have a job in veterinary nursing, but that int good enough for my parents. they set unrealistic expectations, and get mad and disappointed if i don't meet these expectations.
i want to move out ASAP, yet even the idea of me moving out would send my parents into a fit. i was helping a friend find a place and they went through my search history and saw that i had looked at granny flats, and they lost it at me. if i just left and didn't come home, i would lose my phone, my laptop, my schooling, my clothes and all my belongings and not have a place to go. if i moved in with my boyfriend then they would know where to find me. i feel trapped and i don't know what to do or what places can help me with moving out. i wouldn't have anything if i just walked out,but it is getting more and more tempting.