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Topic: I just don't feel good about myself anymore

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Anabelle1370
    Anabelle1370 avatar
    1 posts
    11 November 2018

    I'm 16 years old and have gained 10kg since last year. I've looked it all up with my BMI; I'm 5'3 weighing at 127 pounds and I'm a healthy weight in that context. But, I still feel really ugly and fat. I'm a pretty small girl, but my stomach and thighs make me feel ginormous. Everyday I obsess over little things about my body and end up crying most nights because of how bad I feel. I pinch the rolls of fat on me and think about how unhealthy all this excess body weight is. I know everyone is gonna reply with ''it's natural'' and ''you're beautiful the way you are, there is no perfect body'' but I don't feel that way. I know there is no perfect body because everyone has their flaws, but I'm just so sick of mine. I go to the beach for sport every Friday with about 60 people from my school year, and going to the beach and seeing everyone who are flat stomached with their still rather large boobs and nice butts makes me feel so insecure. All my friends have perfectly toned stomachs and nice butts and boobs and I'm just there with my odd proportioned body. Everything about me seems so fat except for my boobs and butt and I have gotten heaps of cellulite over the year. My body is so pudgy at this point and it makes me so insecure. I don;t know what to do anymore. I want to start going to the gym and doing physical exercise and eating healthy but whenever I bring it up with my family they just shame me, saying I'm already skinny enough and should be putting on weight, which is not the case. I have so much excess fat it's not funny anymore.

    I know the women on social media portray perfect lives and bodies that aren't actually real so although it bothers me to a degree, I am also not too fussed on social media influencers. But when I see REAL PEOPLE from my local area and their perfect bodies, I feel bad. I don't want to be anorexic or anything, I'm not focused on being able to see my rib cage.

     

    I just want to feel good about myself again, like when I was younger. And I don't know how.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. blondguy
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    295 posts
    11 November 2018 in reply to Anabelle1370

    Hello Anabelle1370

    Welcome and good on you for being so proactive and talking with us :-)

    The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post. I have 'bumped up' your thread as the forums have super gentle people in the 'Young Peoples' Section that can be here for you

    If I can mention...you have an excellent attitude when it comes to social media influencers and ignoring the hype that goes with it...Good1

    I will contact my younger colleagues (that may be offline) so you can some more than effective support if thats ok!

    Im Paul and its good to meet you Anabelle...Thanks heaps for being a part of the forum family!

    My Best always

  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    111 posts
    11 November 2018 in reply to Anabelle1370

    Annabelle

    Thanks for your very honest post.

    I can understand how seeing other girls with what you see has having perfect bodies, would make you feel insecure.

    Those girls probably are dissatisfied with their so called perfect bodies.

    The sad thng is that I am much older than 16 and I don’t know many women of any age that like their bodies . I find this very sad.

    I am pleased you are not influenced or pressured by social media.

    bodies come in all shapes and sizes and if your bmi is ok and you are healthy then that is good.

    I can see that because of weight gain you hae seen changes in your body you don’t like.

    I did not like my body at 16 and now looking at photos of mysself then I think I look quite healthy and I wish I could tell my 16 year old self to like my body and not worry.

    I do know it is not easy when you have put on weight.

    I am wondering if there are parts of your body you do like. ? Maybe you have nice feet or strong legs , just think one thing you like .

    Thanks for writing this honest and relatable post.

    Quirky

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Jetosaur
    Jetosaur avatar
    4 posts
    12 November 2018 in reply to Anabelle1370

    Hey,

    i understand how insecure you feel about your body, i’m 18 and it’s only recently that I’ve started to feel more comfortable in my body. I’ve always struggled with accepting myself and all of my flaws and it’s surprisingly after I broke up with my partner of 3 years that I’ve started to make progress. I’ve alwasy either felt like I’m not good looking enough, not strong enough, not smart enough (just constantly not good enough and never enough)

    The truth is, that you and I will never be perfect, and we will forever have our flaws and we may never be all we desire to be.... and we could forever fall into these spirals of negative thoughts and self hate/pity but none of this will ever change the cards we’ve been dealt with. We can sit around and cry and be depressed over the things we can’t change about ourselves or we can take positive steps forward in the direction of self love and acceptance. Because at the end of the day, we are all we’ve got and there is so much more to us than how we look on the outside. All of your flaws are beautiful Anabelle. You are beautiful and you are unique and I whole heartedly believe through my experience that if you truly want to be more happy then you have to start from within and you have to start by acknowledging and loving your flaws because only then can we begin to grow. You are so much more than your body weight and shape and your beauty runs far further than that. Your beauty comes from how kind you are, how loving and how compassionate you are and how you treat others.

    *Somethjng that’s always empowered me when I’ve felt down is simply saying “I love you Jet” - give it a go.

    sincerely,

    Jet

  5. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    244 posts
    12 November 2018 in reply to Anabelle1370

    Dear Annabelle

    I thank you for telling us your story and offer a warm welcome to the forum. You will find other threads on this forum and in the depression forum from those who believe their bodies are not perfect. I understand how it feels to be overweight having put up with feeling ugly for a long time. I am now losing this excess weight and feel much better. It does take time.

    Are you doing anything about weight loss? You know you need a healthy diet and I think it's great that you are happy to eat the meals mom has cooked for you. Do you believe you are eating a healthy diet? What are you doing about exercise other than going to the beach on Fridays? Do you walk or ride a bike? These are simple ways to get fit and toned and do not cost money.

    Perhaps you can get a couple of friends to go walking after or possibly before school. This will help with body size and shape and is a good way of being with your friends. How do they keep fit? I am reluctant to discuss your diet apart from the obvious of staying away from foods full of sugar. It is surprising how much sugar there is in our food and of course takeaways have a lot to answer for.

    Getting fit again is a bit of a journey so do not expect changes overnight. Walk as much as possible, or ride, perhaps get a skipping rope and increase your aerobic exercise. Good for the heart and weight. Unfortunately you are the only person who can change you. It's up to you to take action. I would like to hear from you again and perhaps you can talk about any changes you are putting into practice.

    For your own information, keep a record of what you eat including snacks and takeaways. After a couple of weeks look at what you are eating. I suspect you will find a good diet with the occasional treat. If not then talk to mom, or whoever cooks in your family, and suggest changes. Make sure your changes are reasonable and balanced. No good turning down carbs and fried foods as it depends on the proportion of each in your diet. You need both of these foods in reasonable amounts.

    Have a go with these suggestions and increasing your exercise. I would love to hear from you again.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful