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Topic: I have so many things wrong with me

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Dawwgs
    Dawwgs avatar
    2 posts
    13 April 2020

    18 Male. I've gone through a lot of things in my teenage life and though I always knew that there were a lot of things wrong with me, I never realised the sheer amount until I decided to list it all down. You may not read all of it but I want to know if any of you go through any of this and I'd like to hear about your experiences.

    Self loathing
    Depression
    Anxiety
    No self confidence
    No people skills
    Awkward
    Lazy
    Game addiction
    Phone addiction
    Easily distracted
    Overthink things
    No real close friend
    Think too much about what others think of me
    No sense of independence
    Social anxiety
    No communication skills
    No street smarts

    Unmotivated
    Too easily driven by emotions
    Naive childish way of thinking things
    Think TOO positively and naively. I try to avoid facing reality which leads me to face the consequences
    Boring
    Uninteresting
    Can’t make small talk
    Keep things to myself
    Always try to look for an easy way out
    Take too long to process what people are saying
    Not book smart
    Too quiet
    Think too much about the future
    No real passion
    Nothing drives me to pursue my goal
    Useless at most tasks
    See no purpose in life
    Can’t keep up with conversations
    always follow the crowd. Never try to lead it
    Try hard to blend in with crowd
    Not many people have similar interests with me
    Never have anything interesting to say in a conversation
    Unfit (I sometimes go out to ride my bike, walk the treadmill and some other exercises but never on a regular basis. I do these things because it makes me feel like I'm not a useless human being who lazes around all day but it's only a temporary solution.)
    Almost never go out
    Always live the same day everyday

  2. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2564 posts
    13 April 2020 in reply to Dawwgs

    Hi Dawwgs,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us.

    That's quite a list! I'm imagining that must have been a really difficult time sitting there and writing all of those things - trying to tally up what is wrong with you.

    I can absolutely relate to your experiences. I know many of us here can - I have no doubt that we could all make a really long list of what's wrong with us too - (we'd probably hit the character limit haha).

    Why was it important for you to make a list of all the things that were wrong?

    The idea of things being wrong with you kind of implies to me that you're a bit faulty - but I don't see it that way at all. I think pretty much all of what you've written down can be temporary - nothing here is set in stone or has to define who you are.

    I have no doubt in my mind that if I got to know you I could make a list of all the things that was right about you too. Maybe the very first one I'd write down could be courage - just for coming here and sharing this all with us.

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  3. WanderingAround
    WanderingAround avatar
    11 posts
    13 April 2020 in reply to Dawwgs

    Hey, Dawwgs

    Let me share something. I hated growing up. I'm way past my 18s by a few decades. I hated being a kid, I hated being a teenager and I hated being a young adult. I came to terms with myself now, but it was not easy. And I frankly... mostly roll with the punches these days. Yet, I try to make the best with what I have. It is not a skill easily learnt. It takes your entire life.

    Back then I felt myself lost, I angered fast, I couldn't forgive myself. I hated people around me for reasons that today are so silly and petty. I couldn't understand people's motivations. I struggled finding value in work or study, as it felt empty and meaningless.

    It is extremely hard.

    But you can do it, I can do it, you can do it too. You take one day at a time, you simply don't give up. Never. You fail, you try again, a different way. You find ways, you make your own game. Pick a long term goal, break it, find a starting point and go for it. You may fail, you try again. You never give up. At one point, I guess, it becomes a bit easier, and things will be a bit less uncertain.

    Write a journal, or come here and share your thoughts. Maybe you will never touch your journal again, maybe you will write in it every now and then, but try, if you don't have one. It helped me a lot in these horrible days I had growing up, being hated and hating as well. Unable to understand why the world makes no sense.

    One last thing, I understand you don't like reading, so I'd recommend looking up a Youtube clip from Tom Bilyeu on "How to Make Yourself Immune To Pain"

    It's about David Goggins, he gave an interview about his life on Impact Theory. He was bullied to no end. Had no idea what to do with his life. I only watched this video a few weeks ago, I wish I had seen it when I was younger (technically impossible).

    I hope this helps. It is not easy coming out and putting these words here. It takes a lot of guts to open yourself like this. That's great.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Dawwgs
    Dawwgs avatar
    2 posts
    13 April 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    I thought writing a list down would give me some sense clarity since it would let me see how one problem developed into another. I thought that it would also give me a better understanding of how I perceive myself and subsequently how others potentially saw me.

  5. hello, hi, 😀
    hello, hi, 😀 avatar
    154 posts
    14 April 2020 in reply to Dawwgs

    Hi, I can relate to your list too, but I'm 14.

    I know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself each moment of my life. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have social media and I don’t, I feel so out of place, or they simply don’t want to talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity.

    I don't have any close friends and everyone I talk to seems to hate me because I am so useless, stupid and don't know how to keep a conversation going. They just ask me for answers and then leave, following those "leaders" who can be rude at times but because they are good-looking, they swear and talk a lot and don't care about future, everyone respects them, including teachers.

    Some days I spend time thinking about what I'm going to do in future. I don't really know. I kind of want to become a teacher, but my parents don't believe in me, as I don't have good communication skills.

    This happens each day of my life, wounds me bit by bit. I always stay home and have no one to talk to.

  6. zguenzl
    zguenzl avatar
    31 posts
    14 April 2020 in reply to Dawwgs

    Hi Dawwgs,

    That's definitely a good idea.

    I find writing a list with one column saying what I think to be true and another saying what is more likely to be true e.g. People will think what I have to say isn't interesting vs. what I have to say is valuable to those I care about like my family

    I hope this helps a bit.

    All the best,

    Zoe