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Topic: I feel terrible that I lied to my family about my university results for 4 months

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. thesebiscuits
    thesebiscuits  avatar
    1 posts
    29 July 2020
    I enrolled in university at the start of this year, but when I got to around the fourth week of university, I stopped doing work and failed all my subjects. My parents offered to pay my university fees, but I just wasted that money by not only being lazy but lying to them for a prolonged amount of time. I just came clean that I had not done any work before righting this, and am feeling really terrible. I thought I would create this thread for people to safely talk about being distrustful and hurtful the those that you love, and get anything off your chest, because lying everyday really does take a toll on a persons wellbeing, and this can be a great space to take the first step in feeling better and leaving these issues behind
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    3953 posts
    29 July 2020 in reply to thesebiscuits

    Hi thesebiscuits and welcome to the beyond blue. I want you to know that it takes great courage to do what you did (telling your parents) and writing it here also. So... I am a father, husband last year my son started Uni. Luckily for us we found out about his result early enough. His mother and I spoke with him (not angrily) just to find out what was happening. It turned out it was as he thought it would be. And that's fine. All I ask of him is honesty and openness.

    I only failed one subject all those years ago when I was at Uni and I felt gutted. And I thought i failed my parents as well. It is natural not to want to tell your parents and you may feel terrible for a little while to come. Try to be a little kind to yourself as well.

    One question if I may... what are you doing now? Or what are you passionate about?

    Tim

  3. sisu100
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    sisu100 avatar
    47 posts
    30 July 2020 in reply to thesebiscuits

    Hi thesebiscuits,

    Like smallwolf has said, it took a lot of strength and courage to come clean to your parents and I commend you for taking this step. I can tell that you really care and value your parents, and it’s understandable that you kept this from them because you didn’t want to hurt them. It sounds like you’re feeling guilty and ashamed for lying to your parents and wasting their money but I’m sure they really appreciated you being so honest with them.

    University can be tough- I know from my experience that it’s difficult to juggle classes, assignments, exams with a job and social life- it’s so easy to just lose motivation and fall behind. I know it feels terrible right now but please know that is common for students to fail a few subjects so don’t beat yourself up for it.

    Thank you so much for creating this thread. I think many can relate with similar experiences and you’re right- this is a safe and supportive space to get things off your chest and relieve some of that stress. I hope that has been the case for you and that posting has started to help you feel better. Once again, well done on taking the first step in reaching out and opening up here. Please let us know how you’re tracking whenever you’re up to it.