Hi Ghost Girl,
I hope the first part of my post does not sound too fatherly - there was a kid a couple of door around from where i live who was around the same age as my kids. Let's say that up until middle of primary school they had similar likes. But as time went on there interests change and sort of fell apart. The break between high school and Uni can be another instance were friends may grow apart - this also happened to my son. And after Uni, they might lose some or many of the friendships from their college days.
I think however that it is not the number of friends, but the quality of friendships that count. You said that you have not made many new friends - these could be life long friendships? Those who you are friends with, can you have deep conversations with them? If not, what would stop you?
On lack of intimacy - the person who my first real relationship was with was with the person who became my wife and I was older than you are now. If you did swallow your pride, and did as other your age, how would that make you feel? My son is of a similar age to you and friends do the same as you mention and he cannot understand it himself.
While everything looks grim at the moment you are making attempts to do something about it next year. New possibilities, new connections. Something to look forward to.
One this that I am fairly confident about is that loneliness and negative thoughts can smother any good that may be in our lives.
I wonder if you might be able to tell me about your life - what you do with your days? what things are you passionate about? what do you want to do?
Listening to you,