At the start of last year, I felt like I had everything together. I had a good job that made me proud to tell people about, I had just moved in with my now finace.
I had everything I wanted more or less.
After 5 months I injured my knee working (door to door charity sales, aka alot of walking) so I had to stop as there wasnt a position open for someone who couldn't walk everyday.
Then I had to move because of a dodgy Geelong landlord.
But it was okay, I just gotten engaged. My life was still pretty awesome.
That was july of last year.
The 10 months haven't been kind.
I've tried everything trying to get a job, and I know people will say "oh not everything"
But yes, everything. I've walked around town handing out resumes, I've applied to every job I could do online (on every job board website), I've asked every family member and friend, I've even offered to work for free to some places. And that has been nearly every day of those 10 months.
And I know that isn't the be all and end all.
But it's starting to be.
I can't get out of the house because I have no money, I can't afford rent sometimes, my partner has told me to my face I'm poison because me notting getting a job is affecting her so much that she relapsed on her depression and she's spiralling in one of the most important years of her life.
She can't move back into her parents place for reason I can't quite say but she tells me alot she feels trapped and scared that she will end up hating me soon.
I mean, I have friends places I can go to and all, but I'm, for the better part, stuck in a lease.
She tells me "get a job" but for an indian guy (WHO MIND YOU, WAS BORN HERE AND LIVED HERE MY WHOLE LIFE) with a minor knee disability, it's damn near impossible.
Every interview I even get, there are 200+ applications and no matter how confident or outgoing and willing I am to any interviewer, I still don't get a second round.
So I'm stuck, real stuck. And I'm about to lose everything I have. It's my fault, and there's not even anything I can do to stop it.
I know this isn't really the place to ask, but what can I do..?
I feel so utterly dejected and hate myself for just being.
Its gotten to the point where every morning I wake up and feel like walking until I just drop.
I don't know what to do and I'm so lost.