Online forum 

These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice.

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

You should also have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online communityLogin to post


Topic: I dont know whay to do uni student

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. 21 and counting
    21 and counting avatar
    1 posts
    28 July 2019

    Im 21 and a student at the university of new south wales studying maths/engineering. I just dont feel happy anymore, i think the stress has finally got to me, i had grand plans to pursue academics but this year it all came crashing down. I feel like the world has lost colour and i seem be very indifferent to everything. I just feel so tired that i just want to lie in bed and fade away. Im quite poor and have been at uni for 2 years now the only reason i could afford to do so was because of a scholarship which required me to maintain certain conditions as without the scholarship i would have to work to help support the family. With the new switch to trimesters for math just 1 subject i have 3 lectures and 6 online tutorials a week and 2 assignments due every 2-3 weeks for engineering i just cant keep up i feel like i am bound to fail, no matter how much i push how hard i try it's just one after the other. Im quite lost becuase as soon as i lose the scholarship i have to drop out. I will have let down my family, my parents, my grandparents which had high hopes for me. I dont know how i would face them i cant talk to them about it as they dont understand as im the first of my family to go to university. Im so done idk what to do i can't keep studying just the thought of books give me a headache but if i stop im definitely not gonna get my required marks for the scholarship. Should i just give up maybe uni is just not for me, maybe i was delusional to thinking i was smart enough to purse a phd, maybe im just not up to scratch. I'm praying night and day that the university reverts to semesters i just can't take it anymore. Maybe it's time i hand the towel what a pathetic dream thinking i could change something for my family that i could be someone. Im just born poor and will remain poor, born useless and remain useless sigh.... just wanted to express my thoughts even if it might not sound like much it is to me. As it feels like i have lost my ambition i lost my direction i dont know what else to do in life as this has been my goal since i could remember. As one chapter closes another opens i guess maybe working is where i go from here.

    Thanks for reading not looking for a reply just wanted to share my thoughts somewhere.

  2. Doolhof
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Doolhof avatar
    371 posts
    29 July 2019 in reply to 21 and counting

    Hi 21 and counting,

    Thank you for sharing your story here and welcome to the community. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind concerning your studies, including your own hopes and those of your family.

    This issue is real. I was not able to do schooling past year 12 and struggles then. I admire people who are able to attend Uni. It does sound like it is quite intense for you at present.

    Are there support people, advisors or lecturers at the Uni you can talk to about your situation? Is it possible to ask for an extension now and then on assignments? Is there a student support group you could connect with?

    Is there one member in your family whom you could talk with regarding how you are feeling? Sometimes having a little support and understanding can make a huge difference.

    Do you have activities, hobbies or things that you do enjoy doing that you can make time for each day or maybe each weekend? I do understand you are saying how overwhelmed you are. I am not denying that. It does help to have a distraction even for a short period of time.

    I have not been to Uni so I do not understand the pressure you are feeling. I do acknowledge it is a struggle for you. Hopefully writing here helps you in some way. Just sharing an issue can help at times.

    All the best from Dools.

  3. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    272 posts
    29 July 2019 in reply to 21 and counting

    Dear 21 and counting

    Hello and welcome to the forum. I very glad you have posted here. We will support you as much as possible and maybe others who have been in your situation or similar can talk about their experiences.

    Like Dools I wanted to go to uni when I left school but I left at the equivalent of year ten in the UK. Such are the cultures we belong to that I think my dad would have been flabbergasted to know I wanted to stay on at school and go to uni. He may well have said, "But you're a girl and don't need a career. When you marry you will stay at home and care for the children". I did go to uni in my early fifties and enjoyed it very much.

    I know this is not the same situation as yours but I wanted to say there was an option for uni later on if you did drop out now.

    I very much doubt you are delusional about your abilities. This is your second year and I gather you have not failed any subject yet so your skills are not in question. You sound very tired which is not surprising given your family's hopes and dreams for you. I suspect it is this pressure and not your ability that is the cause of your anxiety. All universities have a counselling service and as such are aware of the pressure uni can put on people. I suggest you contact this service and have a chat to one of the counsellors. They can talk about the options available including an extension which will not lose you your scholarship. By the way, many congratulations on gaining this scholarship. I think this would be a great first step.

    Can you make an appointment soon and also get back to us about how you are going. I do appreciate how hard it feels at the moment and everything looks impossible. I believe there is a way out which will get you through your course without falling apart. I will look for a reply from you.

    Mary

  4. Nutella01
    Nutella01 avatar
    1 posts
    30 July 2019 in reply to 21 and counting

    Hi 21 and counting, welcome to the forums.

    I can relate a lot to your situation and just want to let you know you are not alone.

    I started Uni last year studying Engineering, also on a scholarship (the only way I could afford it). My real passion lied with animals, but I chose Engineering because my grades were so good I felt I 'should' do something harder. A few weeks in, my mental health declined, I suffered from depression for most of the year, and developed an eating disorder. Like you, I struggled with the engineering workload, and the pressure to do well to keep my scholarship. Despite the stress, I did well academically, BUT this came a huge cost to my health, with me being admitted to hospital & missing all of semester 1 this year.

    By the end of last year, I decided I didn't want to do Engineering, I wanted to change to Zoology, but I knew if I did I would lose my scholarship. But I realised I would rather spend my time pursuing a career that I enjoy, that will give me purpose in my life, rather than one that I felt I 'should' do because I'm good at maths. So as hard as it was, I changed my majors and lost my scholarship, and now I'm under a bit more financial pressure, but I still feel good about my decision.

    I understand that without your scholarship you will not be able to study. But you also sound very tired and worn down, and I was told that your health should come before anything. Have you considered taking some time off from uni? Will your course & scholarship allow this? If this is an option for you, you could work to save some money, and spend some time working out if your chosen career path will give you enjoyment and purpose in life. Or you could talk to the support services available at the university, maybe get some extensions on your assignments if this is possible.

    I don't doubt that you have the ability to complete your course, but from what you have written you seem worn out and I feel something needs to change, so that your health does not suffer. I can see how big of a deal this is for you, you are not overreacting, but please do not give up on your studying if it truly is your dream, there will be a way around these hurdles. If you do decide that uni is not for you and you want to try something completely different, then that is ok too. Remember to take one day at a time and look after yourself.

    I'm glad you posted on here, I look forward to hearing back from you.

    Nutella