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Topic: i dont know what to do

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. hello9899
    hello9899 avatar
    1 posts
    20 May 2019

    Title sounds stupid but thats how im feeling right now. i used to joke that bald principle's head is brighter than my future and now thats true

    Im in my 20s and life had never feel great. its not like i have a bad start, my friends are great my family is quite supportive&well organised but despite that im still a loser.

    i dont think i can return my family all the support they gave me. im lying about my uni life im failing. but i cant bring myself to tell them that im a failure after all these times and effort they put on me. i was never helpful to begin with and now they have to face with more disappointment.

    I hit adulthood for some years now and all ive done with that is drinking. i dont feel adult enough and im scared that i will never grow up. will i ever be able to fix myself to function normally

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    894 posts
    21 May 2019 in reply to hello9899

    Hi 9899, welcome to the forums and thanks for posting your comment.

    Just because you call yourself a failure, certainly doesn't mean you are, a person only interested in computers can't be expected to work as a brickies labourer if they don't want to, and the same goes with you, if you aren't interested in uni then there's no reason why you should continue.

    None of us can succeed in everything we want to do, however, this fear of failure causes you to unconsciously damage your chances of success and by drinking is the way for you to escape.

    That's a secondary cause for you to deal with and we can help with this but first of all either defer your uni or decide to end it, your family and friends will understand and support your decision, why because they have up to this point already and would only want you to do what you want.

    Hope to hear back from but before I go can I ask you what other careers or adventures you want to do.

    Geoff.

  3. Alexlisa
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Alexlisa avatar
    7 posts
    21 May 2019 in reply to hello9899

    Hi Hello9899,

    Welcome to the forums. I’m so glad you reached out here. I can hear how down on yourself and lost you’re feeling. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds tough.

    I was wondering if you’d consider seeing the University counsellor? I felt a similar way to you when I was at uni and was struggling to keep my head above water and cope with low self-esteem and confidence. The counsellor was great because she was so used to dealing with these kind of issues. She helped me feel validated and gave me some good ideas for how to get myself back on track and work on my self-esteem. She was also able to point me in the direction of other services that the uni offered that could help. I wonder if your uni has a peer-support or mentoring program that you can participate in? Often these are provided by the School for your degree. It might also be worth approaching your uni student association or union to ask if there’s any way they can help you. But I definitely encourage you to go to the counsellor/psychologist service. Students go there for all kinds of reasons, so you don’t need to worry about that.

    I think your 20s are a tough transition time where you find your feet as an adult and that can be a hard process. I can hear that you feel like you’re failing at it at the moment, but I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in that. I found them hard and so did quite a few people I know. You feel like you should have it all together already, but you’re actually only very young and have plenty of time. One day you’ll look back and be able to see that, so please don’t be too hard on yourself now.

    I was wondering is if there’s an older adult in your life that you feel like you could be open with about your experience. It sounds like you’re weighed down by such difficult feelings and talking about it could help ease the burden. Maybe you have a relative or older friend that you could ask to be a kind of mentor for you. Someone who’ll help guide you through this transition time and who will be able to be there for you when you need support and encouragement. It’s something that I wish I had when I was your age because I really needed some stable ground and someone to look up to. So if you have anyone you’d feel comfortable with, please have a think about it.

    You sound like a wise and empathic person and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in feeling how you do. Please keep reaching out here if you need to.

    Take care,

    Alexlisa