Hi 11aa and welcome
Friendships can be so difficult to have. They are never easy. Unfortunately they just don't happen. It takes time to build them. Being anxious doesn't help does it? I know, I've lived my life that way. I have learnt those feelings of worthlessness have in part been created by myself. I can create some very interesting stories in my head about what people think or don't think, why they contact me or don't contact me. What I've learnt is - they are just that stories I've fabricated. These days, now that I'm feeling better about myself and communicating better with others, people do want to share my company. Sometimes I have to reach out to others and at other times people reach out to me.
You sound like you have friends that I used to have. I have always been a listener, so people used that to download all their problems. Most of these friends (?) were not listeners. That's okay, but now I prefer to share my time with people who are listeners - now that I've learnt how to talk. Friendships are a two way thing, and it's okay to learn to find other friends when the ones you have aren't good for your soul.
Making new friends has it's challenges. I used to do that through work, now I'm retired, I join different clubs. It's amazing when you find a club where everyone has a similar interest. There is always something to talk about.
You're not alone 11aa. Keep reaching out if and when you want.