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Topic: I dont have anyone I trust to talk too

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. 11aa
    11aa avatar
    1 posts
    24 March 2019
    My biggest anxiety is that I feel worthless, I have so many friends but every single one of those friendships are hollow and I want someone that really makes an effort with me and that I feel I can open up too and that they actually would care enough to listen and love me. I don't have any family I am close too & I am also an only child, so I feel like I really have no one. I am in my young 20's and everyone is so busy in life, with boyfriends, jobs which I totally understand but time after time I feel like I am giving so much into a friendship and then nothing is returned. It has gotten to the point that now when I am in a social setting and can't cope, I break down alone and start punching myself because I feel like there is something wrong with me and I need to punish myself for not having those relationships with people it seems like everyone else has.
  2. PamelaR
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    PamelaR avatar
    58 posts
    25 March 2019 in reply to 11aa

    Hi 11aa and welcome

    Friendships can be so difficult to have. They are never easy. Unfortunately they just don't happen. It takes time to build them. Being anxious doesn't help does it? I know, I've lived my life that way. I have learnt those feelings of worthlessness have in part been created by myself. I can create some very interesting stories in my head about what people think or don't think, why they contact me or don't contact me. What I've learnt is - they are just that stories I've fabricated. These days, now that I'm feeling better about myself and communicating better with others, people do want to share my company. Sometimes I have to reach out to others and at other times people reach out to me.

    You sound like you have friends that I used to have. I have always been a listener, so people used that to download all their problems. Most of these friends (?) were not listeners. That's okay, but now I prefer to share my time with people who are listeners - now that I've learnt how to talk. Friendships are a two way thing, and it's okay to learn to find other friends when the ones you have aren't good for your soul.

    Making new friends has it's challenges. I used to do that through work, now I'm retired, I join different clubs. It's amazing when you find a club where everyone has a similar interest. There is always something to talk about.

    You're not alone 11aa. Keep reaching out if and when you want.

    Kind regards

    PamelaR