I’m new to this, life at the moments been difficult. I don’t know how I should feel anymore. I use to be the cheerful girl that always worse a smile on her face, and now I’m the complete opposite. When people ask me “why do you feel this way” my mind comes up blank. I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am but I just am. I know I probably don’t make sense... it’s been a hard year so far and it’s been a struggle to push through it. I was suppose to go to school today but I couldn’t bare the thought of moving so I messaged my mum saying I felt sick.. I really didn’t but in a way I did... just not the way she thought. I’m only 15, and I know I should be outside having fun or planning to see my friends but to me that is the last thing I want to do. My room is a mess and my minds going crazy, but I don’t want to talk to anyone. Depression runs in the family. My mum has it my brother has it my nan has it and so does my pop but I don’t want to assume anything. Please. I think I’m at a loss..

A warm welcome to the forum Brielle5664

My heart goes out to you as you experience such struggle. By the way, I'm a mum who gives her teenage son and daughter permission to take the occasional mental well-being day off school if we feel there is a need. We take physical recovery days off when we're not well, why not mental recovery days?!

With me having experienced depression in the past, I relate to the importance of skillfully managing mental health. This leads me to wonder how your family members skillfully manage their mental health. The reason I ask this is because sometimes when other people aren't managing so well, this can lead those around them to experience issues in managing their own life. The energy or 'vibe' in a house can also be another influence.

You mention 'it's been a hard year so far'. Have you had any help in managing the hardship? Is it possible to speak to someone in the well-being team at school (counselor, chaplain etc)? Is it possible to speak with a family member such as your mum? Can you think of anyone who could help make a positive difference in your life, offering some form of direction and support?

From the 1st steps we make as an awkward toddler (where we manage by holding onto things that support us) through to the time and workload management of everyday life, just about everything in life is managed in some way. It's weird when you think about it.

• Consciously managing our mind may mean skillfully dealing with thoughts that define our course of action in life, our identity (how we identify) and self-esteem for example
• Consciously managing our body may mean skillfully dealing with our physical ability to interact with our external environment. It can also involve dealing with our internal environment, the chemistry within us that leads us to feel a sense of ease or dis-ease (physical and mental). Managing our internal environment can involve diet, exercise, stress relief strategies, thought processing strategies and so on
• Consciously managing our sense of connection to life may mean skillfully balancing elements of mind and body and understanding the impact certain energies have (those energies inside us and outside of us)

We're definitely complex creatures in need of conscious management. The need for management skills in our teenage years is incredibly important for these are the years when we begin to manage beyond our parents' influence. Finding people to guide us is key, no matter our age.

Take care

Hello Brielle,

Your story has really touched me as I went through a very similar stage in my life. I remember it being one of the scariest things I've ever experienced. You must be so strong.

Depression can come along for no reason at all or a variety of very small issues that accumulate and make a mess. It must be hard to feel validated and able to cope. It's not your fault.

Are there things that your family has tried to get them through their tough times? As you are family there might be something like a specific type of therapy or medication that helps a lot.

Just remember you are still so young and the cheerful you, the one with a smile on her face is still there, it will be uncovered again. You just need to get through this. I'm sure many people believe you can do this, have that belief in yourself and nothing can stop you.

Lots of love