Hi, this is my first time posting here.
I'll stress that I'm not feeling really bad.
I'm really just not coping as well as I'd like with everything right now.
I have a counsellor and that is going alright, we have a focus direction.
I've just been feeling like I'm overwhelmed, I guess.
I've been studying for most of my life and I still have a little bit to go but due to my life circumstances, I have to go find a part time job shortly. I've not had one before and I feel so scared about it. Especially as I feel that I'll fail.
I feel that I lack good friends. You know how most people have those friends who'll talk to them all time and you can confide in each other? I don't have that at all. I kinda crave that connection with people. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship.
I feel pressured in areas that I feel really anxious in to fix it immediately.
I'm scared that I'll need to be reliant on medication but I'm scared to try it and I'm scared to admit that I may need it.
I feel just sad and sorry for myself a lot.
I feel like I wreck a lot of stuff and it's not always replacable.
I feel like I suck. I feel like I'm not worth it.
Then I just feel so ashamed of myself. I feel tired. So tired. I feel so scared of rejection. I feel so scared that I'll fail.
I do tell my counsellor this and they encourage me and assure me that I'm a normal and competent person and that there is nothing wrong with me. It's just so hard to believe that too.
I'm just having a bad night really and I need to get my feelings out.
Thanks for reading I guess.