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Topic: I'm in love with a boy who friendzoned me

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lozanger
    Lozanger avatar
    4 posts
    24 February 2019

    Okay so...

    I've known this boy for 4-5 months now and ever since the beginning we both liked each other. We went on dates, he met my parents, we talked every. single. day. without fail. He took me out to a fancy dinner and a movie on Valentines Day, got me roses and constantly complimented me and kissed me and cuddled me. I told all my friends about him and boasted of course (I was over the moon about him). I genuinely had been thinking 'Maybe he's the one?!' (cringy, naive and dumb I know...).

    He's an aspiring actor and was actually a very busy guy and I'm still in school (He just graduated) but we would always hang out and go on dates. My friends and family considered him my boyfriend because we were that close. He hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet but I was sure that it would be soon.

    Then the other day, he starts texting me saying "I don't know if now is the best time to jump into a relationship, but I love you as a friend and I want you around me constantly because you make me happy and I thoroughly enjoy your company everytime".

    Mind you I had caught many many feelings by then.

    I end up crying... of course for days. And all my friends say to drop him and never talk again.

    But during that conversation he had mentioned that we would probably date in the near future he just know that him being busy would cause problems between us, and I completely understand where he's coming from. But at the same time, I'm just wondering... why can't he see that I would be an easygoing girlfriend. My last ex always saw his ex-girlfriend/friend and we broke up because he moved away!

    I'm not a complicated person and I wish he could see that...

    But us being friends right now feels almost as comfortable as being 'into each other'.

    So I'm not quite sure what to do...

  2. Hazel1717
    Hazel1717 avatar
    2 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Lozanger
    I went through being friend zoned by the guy I thought was ''the one'' too. However it's a very different situation to yours. By reading your post I can't help but think it's unfair that he thinks he can just put things on hold and not think that you might have something helpful to say that might cause you two to have a healthy relationship. Sorry if I got that wrong but maybe you should tell him that you can work with being an easy going girlfriend if that's how you feel.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Soberlicious96
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    1 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Lozanger

    Hi Lozanger,

    I want to start by saying I am by no means a relationship expert ..... but I do believe that if a relationship is right and 'meant to be' then time will become pretty much irrelevant. People who genuinely want to be together will make time. both parties will make the time to fit/match their schedules around each other.

    I am also guessing that you could both still be quite young, so logistics are something to consider as well.

    He has said though that he loves you as a friend and wants to be around you all the time, so that is, I would say, a step in the right direction?

    Anyway, I do hope you get what it is that you want and deserve; a healthy loving relationship.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Lozanger
    Lozanger avatar
    4 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Hazel1717

    You're correct in saying that I want to say exactly that. I think I'm just nervous of pushing too hard and he may find it "clingy" that I am asking again...

    I was talking with a friend earlier who suggests I say that I need my own time to see if he ends up want to talk more... but I'm afraid that too might push him away sadly.

    It's a trying time but I'm hoping things work out in the end.

    Thank you for your reply <3

  5. Lozanger
    Lozanger avatar
    4 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Soberlicious96

    After 4-5 months I thought that it was 'meant-to-be" but maybe not. I get worried about him finding someone else and moving on but I want to move on (not necessarily another person, just in life) as well in order to show him I'm not dependent.

    We are young yes, which is why I understand the conflict of him being unsure of what he can handle or what he wants even.

    I truly hope these are steps in the right direction.

    Thank you so much for your reply <3

  6. Hazel1717
    Hazel1717 avatar
    2 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Lozanger
    Funnily enough I just spoke to the guy who friend zoned me and we're friends again after a fight we had. Anyway hope everything goes well with you <3>
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Lozanger
    Lozanger avatar
    4 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Hazel1717

    That is so good!

    I feel like friendship... as tough as it is... is a good place to be, better than nothing.

    Same to you!

  8. Skary Bill
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Skary Bill avatar
    5 posts
    24 February 2019 in reply to Lozanger

    Boy do I feel old reading about the txt msg romance thing.

    But anyway lol, Hi Lozanger.

    I just wanted to say that as a young man, I messed up a few times when I had a great friendship with a girl and didn't want to risk ruining that friendship by taking it to the next level. You know what it's like. Teenage romances sometimes come and go quickly, he might be thinking, what if we date and it doesn't work out... How can the friendship ever be the same.

    I don't know where his heart is at and I don't want to speak for the guy. But that was a definite thing I remember struggling with and making the wrong decision over...

    You're still friends so just hit him up for some clarity. Way better off knowing whats what, than wondering about it all. And if I may suggest an oldskool move.. Just call him :)

    Good luck,

    Bill.