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Topic: I'm a little bit lost.

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Beanest133
    Beanest133  avatar
    1 posts
    18 March 2019

    I can't motivate myself anymore I can't seem to think positively. I practice unhealthy relationships with my friends. I am in a long term relationship and I'm not sure if I even want to be in it. I'm stuck in a town I absolutely can't stand with a desire for more that I can't seem to actually motivate myself for.

    My parents had a bad outlook on mental health and medication and so for what feels like my whole life I've been telling myself it's not that bad. But I'm starting to realize it is. I've tried therapies but the talking alone doesn't seem to help. I know and understand the what they're saying and I definately try to apply it. But it seems like I'm pouring a teaspoon into the ocean trying to tackle my issues with mindfulness and whatnot.

    I've been to three different doctors about trying to get on medication but they've all prescribed me different things. Being a free clinic (can't afford anything else) I get less than 10 minutes talking and they shove me out the door with very little information on whatever they've prescribed me.

    So far I've been to scared to take anything.

    I can see the steps I have to take in my life to get better. I just can't seem to make them.

    I feel like my passions and dreams slip away more and more everyday and I feel less and less like myself everyday.

    I know I have a boatload of problems. But I'm scared I guess. To admit to them, own up to them. I want a doctor to actually listen and explain to me what I need to do to get better or something. I feel like I'm spiralling downward.

    My whole life I've never truly believed I had potential for anything. I can honestly say that. But I know I can be something better and live a better life I am just so lost as to how. What steps do I take how do I make myself get the help I need with such s**t family support.

    I don't know why I'm even posting this I just needed to say that I look at people younger than me and they are doing so well and I wonder why the hell I'm so useless.

  2. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    368 posts
    19 March 2019 in reply to Beanest133

    Hi Beanest123,

    Welcome to the forums. Can I just start off by saying that you're not useless? My first thoughts are that you're anything but. You've worked so hard to get some help with your mental health; therapists and GP's, even without the support of your family (which is super hard), and yet you've been knocked back, time and time again.

    I get that the GP's prescribed meds and sent you on your way - free clinic or not, you deserve better than that. Did the therapists only talk about mindfulness? Did you ever tell them that it wasn't helping?

    A weird question for you - if you were to see the most perfect therapist or GP, what advice do you think they might give you?

    You said in your post you can see the steps you need to take to get better, but can't seem to make them. What might be the very first step?