I'll try and keep this as to the point, from what is a really long story. Some context: I've dealt severely with mental health, including suicide attempts and have had diagnosis like BPD and Bipolar tossed around...
After 2 years of incredibly close friendship, my friend got into a relationship. I unfortunately realised I was in love with them. I shared this, she said she didn't feel the same. And that began a heavy downward spiral for me.
Fast forward to now, it's been a year since. We haven't spoken for 4 months and I moved from New Zealand to try a fresh start here. I've been having so much trouble moving on;
I keep fantasising every day, many times about running into her in some way. So many little things just make me sad because they remind me of her. And I just cannot stop my mind from going over things.
I don't know what to do.