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Topic: How can I help my mum?

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. - Brayden -
    - Brayden -  avatar
    3 posts
    10 September 2019

    My mum has been dealing with anxiety for most of her life, and its an anxiety that limits her to the bone. she can't go out otherwise she has panic attacks, All my life I've been sensitive about not being able to do the things you want to in your life, and seeing my mum (unlike like other women) not being able to go out or do stuff she as a child dreamed of, really hurts to think about. I want to help her but I really am unsure how to.

    I try my hardest to take the pressure off her all the time, but there is always something new to be concerned about (bills, stress)

    I don't know what I can do anymore? I am losing my mind.

    I am losing all of my options. :(

  2. paddyanne
    paddyanne avatar
    3 posts
    10 September 2019 in reply to - Brayden -
    Hi - Brayden -. I'm sorry your mum has this debilitating problem. Anxiety about doing everyday things, shopping, paying bills, even just going to the letterbox without feeling that familiar tightness is so difficult. There are ways of combatting some of these things. Paying bills for instance can be done via the 'net. All you do is download your bank account and there is space for paying bills etc. Is there someone who could stay with your mum to give you time for study. Also try to get a home visit from your Dr to see if he can help with some anti-depressants which will calm her and help you. I gather there's just you and mum. Shopping online is making things easier for people who have severe depression (anxiety). Your mum needs help with managing the anxiety which is part of depression. You need help with trying to help mum. Depression is zapping and the person with it often feels tired and has no energy. It's good she has you, but you need help so you can move forward too.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
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    Summer Rose avatar
    61 posts
    10 September 2019 in reply to - Brayden -

    Hi Brayden

    I care for an adult child with OCD and anxiety, so I can relate to your daily struggles supporting mum in her battle with anxiety. However, at the same time, it's hard for me to imagine how challenging it must be when the roles are reversed.

    Brayden, I really want to encourage you to reach out for help and support as I'm really concerned about you. This is not something you should have to do on your own.

    You can talk with a teacher, school counsellor or your GP. Or perhaps with a mate's parents or an extended member of your family. Pick someone you trust and that you are comfortable with. Does anyone come to mind?

    It's ok to ask for help and certainly better than the alternative of you "losing your mind". I have help caring for my daughter. I talk with my doctor, a counsellor and friends. I could not make it through without this help and I am an adult.

    I know you want to help mum. And I know you are doing your best. But somebody also needs to be looking after you.

    This may sound funny as we've never met but I am really proud of you. You are obviously a very kind and loving son. And you are brave to reach out here for support.

    Kind thoughts to you

    1 person found this helpful
  4. - Brayden -
    - Brayden -  avatar
    3 posts
    11 September 2019 in reply to paddyanne

    Hey there, thanks for the support...

    I do have a brother and my dad... But its almost like I'm the only one that cares... By stress and bills I mean not having the money to pay them and the stress from work mum has...

    Thanks, guys.

  5. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Summer Rose avatar
    61 posts
    11 September 2019 in reply to - Brayden -

    Hi Brayden

    Thanks for letting us know that dad and your brother are in the picture. I feel much better knowing you are not alone.

    Having said that, you are clearly carrying a heavy weight alone in the form of concern for mum and this is impacting you. I still think it's a good idea for you to reach out for support.

    Please know that anxiety is a common condition and with the right treatment most people recover. There is hope for brighter days ahead.

    You cannot solve mum's mental health issues but you can take some steps to help her. You can love her unconditionally. You can encourage her to see her GP. You can even offer to go with her for support. Most importantly, you can learn more about anxiety through this forum and by reading materials on the bb website. This will help you to respond in helpful ways.

    You might also consider talking with your dad and brother and asking for their help for both you and mum. If you tackle this as a family and work together to help mum it will be easier.

    What do you think? Is talking with dad something you would consider?

    Kind thoughts to you

    1 person found this helpful