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Topic: hi everyone

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Wabbit
    Wabbit avatar
    1 posts
    17 June 2019

    I'm recently joined here for some advice for my currently life situation. I am quite depressed and this has happened for as long as I could remember since I was around 14. I grew up having a few friends back in high school. Really good friends but slowly drifted away from them.
    By 17 I lost them all in a blink in an eye, because of parent's strict nature. Study to become doctor or something. No time for fun. At this point, I felt 'alone', even though I had my family.
    By 18 I went to university to study something like any other sheep. In this case, I studied some engineering courses completing 3 years of it so far. Always stay indoors, never went to parties or celebrated my birthday. I did try applying for jobs for the first two years but never got passed interviews, probably because I had a depressive aura. So by then, I didn't even have a part time / casual job due to 'no time' to work because of engineering workload. I couldn't even make friends either (I felt like people just used each other for assessment)
    Now I'm 22 in my finals trying to get my degree but with recent family violence revolving around my parents (police got involved) at home I felt even more stressed out. I began to fail a lot of classes to the point I might not be able to graduate anymore. I feel defeated.

    Basically I'm a 22 year old still controlled by parents who wasted 4 years (or gained plenty of knowledge) + 100 K student debt + no life direction + no friends (isolation) + no job (not experience at all). Super depressive and I don't feel that genuine 'fun/happy' or positive feeling anywhere. Pretty much have the 'poker face'. Death of recent pets didn't affect me emotionally either even though I know I love them.

    Now, I reached a point where I am going to give up on everything or even restart life. I'm thinking of downgrading my career to do trades because I don't want mental stress anymore.

    Besides my sad life story, here's some positive things about me.
    - I like to cook for fun
    - I like to grow veggies
    - I like dogs, rabbits, cat, snake, birds and fish
    - I did a lot of volunteering for 2 years for fun but pointless for resume.

    My current routine
    8 hrs sleep (currently down to 4-5hrs for the last month)
    45 min morning jog
    Eating healthy food (food consumption irregular now since last month)
    30 min meditation
    Watch Videos/ Cook when bored


    Any tips? Any advice about career pathway? What should I do now? I feel completely cornered on how to continue on with life.

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Croix avatar
    235 posts
    17 June 2019 in reply to Wabbit

    Dear Wabbit`

    Welcome to the Forum, it is a good move as I have the feeling you want to throw away an awful lot of effort and successes.

    To get to final year is a pretty large achievement in itself, and while I can see you are discouraged about these fails there is a reason for it - your family's violence incidents. Nobody is going to study well with police turning up and that sort of atmosphere.

    So may I suggest firstly you go see student counseling and explain the situation, they may well be able to defer thngs so all is not lost. If by then you have seen a doctor his/her report may help too. Even if you do not use the degree for what it is intended you will have accomplishment, and it can lead to other things.

    Secondly the fact your pets died and you were numb is a sign you should at least talk with you GP in a long consultation and say all about what has been happening to you and how you feel. Wanting to give everything up is a superficially attractive process, linked to hopelessness, however in the long term I beleive you will have regrets. Better to get help in coping now.

    Nothing you have done is wasted, and has come with a price, here I'm not talking about a HEX debt which will basically look after itself, but in effort and isolation and stress.

    Your activities sound wide-ranging, sensible and good for you. I'd not dismiss volunteering just like that . The fact you have been doing it for 2 years is itself a measure of your personality, and an asset. If it is fun -excellent!

    With help you will cope better. Things that seem hopeless will become possible again.

    Is there anyone in your life you can lean on at the moment? Facing all this alone is hard.

    You know you are welcome to talk here anytime

    Croix

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    103 posts
    17 June 2019 in reply to Wabbit

    Hi Wabbit,

    welcome to beyond blue.

    putting aside your currently sleeping habits what you have written under your current routine is pretty good. But I can also see that the things that have gone on with your family would be affecting your studies. In relation to what you should do regarding your studies, or doing a trade, it would be inappropriate for me to tell you what you do, but I also think you might have a idea... and I would also suspect that you would be close the finishing your degree?

    So... if you decided to stop your degree you would not the first person or last person to do this. From the time I was first studying (early 90s) to now, I know enough people who dropped out of studies because it was not for them or some other reason. Then there are some who completed their degree but then changed careers to do something else. There was even one guy who was in his last semester at Uni and "had" to tell his parents he did not really want to do that course. You could always talk over your options with a counsellor at Uni and/or people from the engineering department?

    Also the fact that you have done volunteer work is something you can put on a resume. Some hiring managers like it. It can also show that you can juggle studies and volunteer work, and shows dedication to some cause. There are plenty of benefits with volunteer work so please dont sell yourself short in this area.

    However, depression makes us things negatively of most if not all things.

    And if you do speak with a counsellor at Uni you might also be able to talk to them about your depression and what your options there are as well? You could even complete your degree part time?

    I guess what I am suggesting is to weigh up the pros and cons of each decision.

    Regardless, I am listening to you, and if you want to chat some more about this or anything else, please let me know.

    Tim

    PS. Have you looked at the K10 test on the beyond blue web site?