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Topic: Hey, I'm a lonely stress head named Jane!

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. JaneVV
    JaneVV avatar
    5 posts
    8 July 2019

    Hi everyone,

    Joining this online forum is something that I never thought I would ever do, but after reading some of the threads, I am glad that I have. My main reason for joining is that I have become incredibly lonely over the last two years. I am an introvert and only had a few close friends when I left school. While everyone I know warned me that school friendships don't usually last, I didn't want to hear it. Now two years later, I fear that I have no one because one friend is never available and the other friend does not have very good conversational skills so trying to talk or hang out with her is very draining and pointless. I've tried making new friends at uni but its not very easy because most people just go to their classes and leave so there's barely any chance to get to know anyone. It makes me feel even worse when I see groups of girls from high school posting their regular catch ups and adventures together because I envy the strong friendships that they all have.

    I also suffer from extreme stress and often feel very anxious due to uni and work (I don't know if I have anxiety but I have felts some symptoms). I have come to realise that I am my own worst enemy because a lot of the time, I allow my worrying and overthinking to make myself physically sick.

    So, in summary, I have come here to talk about my problems with others because I don't want to constantly burden my family with them. I also want to learn different strategies to work on overcoming my issues. And finally, I want to be able to help others and give back to those who help me.

    Thanks for reading!

    JaneVV

    2 people found this helpful
  2. donnie123
    donnie123 avatar
    2 posts
    8 July 2019 in reply to JaneVV
    hey Jane thanks for reaching out today. I'm nearly 17 and I am assuming you are finding it difficult to make new friends at university? well just be yourself and people will come to you. I cant offer advice much. I posted the world's biggest rant about a minute ago but from that...im not good with feelings and emotions and all that.. I was taught that I was soft if I had any emotions or I was looking for attention.? maybe I can offer advice of seek medical or professional help? and you are bound to meet some nice people on this forums aswell
    2 people found this helpful
  3. continuousventer
    continuousventer avatar
    19 posts
    13 July 2019 in reply to JaneVV
    Hi Jane

    I'm also a lonely introvert. Like I do everything alone, I study alone, I eat alone, I go to the city alone. If I do something with someone, I have to be comfortable with them in order to hang out with them.

    It's okay, none of my highschool friendships worked out. We never really connected.

    I get your problem with uni because it's like everyone has their groups and you're under the trees eating lunch alone.

    I'm also my worst enemy. I really wish I wasn't.
    3 people found this helpful
  4. Pupdog
    Pupdog avatar
    1 posts
    13 July 2019 in reply to JaneVV

    Hi Jane,

    It's very hard to feel alone, I too went through this when I went to uni. I was the first person in a very working class family......so the fear and expectation from everyone was hard. Family supported me, but didn't really know what it entailed. The only thing I can say is, there is a sacrifice for being who you truly want to be. Sometimes the people you think that should truly get you, be on your side....won't. I struggle with this nearly everyday, still now unfortunately. I have all the the 'proper' successes.....degree, $$, respect. But I constantly feel inferior to my younger brother, who has gone into the family business (construction). I am cut off when he speaks, I am dismissed when I am upset and while I know I am loved, I know that I am not understood. My family does not deal with hurt well, the norm reaction is defensive/agro.

    Jane, please stop being your worst enemy. There are enough ppl that will play the part for you. Be kind to yourself, be honest and genuine. Those with similar hearts will find their way to you. Do me a favour......try to be open to those ppl. I don't have alot of regrets, being closed off to ppl sometimes may be one :/

    All the best - reach out if you need.

    x

    2 people found this helpful